“Where’s my free cow?”
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Better grants for cattle sheds than houses
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I’d enough sex , drink and excitement to do 4 lifetimes-
Incontinence ?fuck if it comes to that I’m exiting
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Still mobile did 22 km plus walk Sunday, ears aren’t brilliant tbh bit otherwise having no drink/ woman in my life I reckon I’m ok for 80 plus years
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Madness. You’ll get hit with a bus yet.
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Have you paid any attention to the lads on here ?
They wouldn’t fuck spuds to a hurl.
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na all on decent paths - great scenery- hugging the water
The fathers issues thread would indicate intermittent bouts of horizontal jogging at least. There is, as they say, a lid for every pot.
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Procreation sex ain’t fun sex !
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I’ll bow to your opinion at this juncture.
I reckon he’s doing it wrong
I’d a 10 m break aswell—- spoiling myself
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I missed my young lad scoring his first hat trick today
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I came in pissed last night and the cat must have shnaked out past me when I opened the door. It’s not allowed out yet as it’s a rescue, and just been neutered there last week (you have to sign an agreement to that in order to get it) and isn’t supposed to go outside til after Christmas.
Anyhow I was just off on the bike on a beautiful morning when
“Dad, have you seen Zander/Xander?”(already named at the rescue centre)
“No”
“I can’t find him anywhere”
Of course herself then wades in with
“Did you let him out last night?”
“No” (slightly shifty)
“What time did you come in/ how much did you have to drink/ you complete idiot bla bla bla”
By which time our lass was sobbing, and herself “well you can’t go off on your bike now, we have to find the cat”
“Lookit, he’ll come back when he’s hungry”
But by this stage my daughter was frantically walking up and down the road in her pyjamas shouting the cat and crying, and bucko was out of the leaba looking worried and chipping in that Im an idiot not to be trusted.
After about twent minutes we found the little fucker hiding in some logs under the bushes in the back garden smeared in his own (presumably) poo.
I missed my cycle, nobody is talking to me and the fucker is crashed out on my bed.
I had to do a peloton class instead, and I suspect it’s the last we’ll see of the sun til may. 
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There’s no fear of cats even when they’re gone they’re close by.
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I couldn’t see what me not going cycling was going to add to anything, but 🤷
The rescue ones tend to be quarehawks though, and need all sorts of extra rules about letting them out. Been there done that. Leo VaradCat is still with us 2.5 years later and is good for coming back these days even when he’s away for a few nights.
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I’m beginning to wonder should we have a dedicated thread for logging these incidents?
Fuck-ups by Flatty has a certain literary charm to it.
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