Please expand on this Chewie.
This is a fucking brilliant thread.
Good God this story is legend around these parts ditzy.
See Rocko this is why we need the Wiki.
[quote=âmyboyblue, post: 761534, member: 180â]Good God this story is legend around these parts ditzy.
See Rocko this is why we need the Wiki.[/quote]
I can understand why someone with 47000 posts would say this MBB, but you see, I actually have a life that involves boring stuff like having a family, job and mortgage outside of TFK. You do know that you donât have to post on absolutely EVERYTHING on TFK donât you. Here mate, why donât you go outside for a while? Your pale skin could do with some Vitamin C.
I have told it before on here, but myself and my two brothers used to often spend summer days in the back garden with the mothers laundry basket, a hurley, some rope and stale crusts of bread. There is a big fuck off elder tree in the back garden and this used to be a magnet for birds to nest in. We would prop up the laundry basket with the hurley and then tie the rope to said hurley and place the breadcrumbs under the basket and then take cover. As soon as a bird would be stupid enough to go for some bread we would yank the rope and trap the bird and then run around the place like lunatics in complete frenzy delighted to have caught something. But given the the eldest of us at the time was 10 and youngest 5, none of us ever had the courage to go anywhere near the basket to see the bird and after the initial excitement died down we would run in to get the mother to come out and release the bird while we kept our distance.
Once the bird was released we would start the whole process again.
A simpler time, to the innocence of youth:pint:
Could somebody please give us a definitive count of the death toll at this point of the thread. By my calculations, I make it -
Dogs - Multiple casualtiesâŚat least 10
Bears - 1
Turkeys - Multiple casualties, exact figure unknown
Sheep - 1
Mice - Multiple casualties, exact figure unknown
Rooster - 1
Rats - 1
Horses - 1
Donkeys - 1
Badgers - 1
Fucking hell, but mans best friend appears to be the most targeted victim!!
[quote=âchewy louie, post: 761539, member: 1137â]I have told it before on here, but myself and my two brothers used to often spend summer days in the back garden with the mothers laundry basket, a hurley, some rope and stale crusts of bread. There is a big fuck off elder tree in the back garden and this used to be a magnet for birds to nest in. We would prop up the laundry basket with the hurley and then tie the rope to said hurley and place the breadcrumbs under the basket and then take cover. As soon as a bird would be stupid enough to go for some bread we would yank the rope and trap the bird and then run around the place like lunatics in complete frenzy delighted to have caught something. But given the the eldest of us at the time was 10 and youngest 5, none of us ever had the courage to go anywhere near the basket to see the bird and after the initial excitement died down we would run in to get the mother to come out and release the bird while we kept our distance.
Once the bird was released we would start the whole process again.
A simpler time, to the innocence of youth:pint:[/quote]
Quite frankly, the stuff of TFK legend, up there with flano boxing the ears off a rabbit.
I got a dead leg from the kick off that cunt of a bullock Jimmy Mc Nulty, does that count as i have also been called a dirty animal on occasion?
myboyblue keep an eye for anymore bullshit tales please, some lads are losing the run of themselves altogether. :rolleyes:
[quote=âcarryharry, post: 761544, member: 1517â]I got a dead leg from the kick off that cunt of a bullock Jimmy Mc Nulty, does that count as i have also been called a dirty animal on occasion?
myboyblue keep an eye for anymore bullshit tales please, some lads are losing the run of themselves altogether. :rolleyes:[/quote]
I suspect a few on here are telling some tall tales in the hope that silly gullible townie cunts such as ditzy will think more of them. Even though I am happy to see ditzy make an eejit out of himself Iâd hate to see some other alright sorts taken in.
Story told to me by a priest friend of the familyâŚ
The late Bishop Of Limerick, Jeremiah Newman, was being tormented by crows out in the old Bishopâs residence on the North Circular. In one of his regular whiskey-fuelled rages he went out with a pellet gun and made strainers out of about 40 of them. Not content with that, he gathered them up and hung them off the trees lining the entrance.
It took the Vicar-General and about three other priests to (a) make him hand over the gun and (b) convince him that displaying carrion was unbecoming of the bishopâs palace.
Only other thing I recall about him was the day of my Confirmation when the smell of liquor off him would have felled a horse.
There is some great stories on this thread.
We were setting off fireworks as young fellas. Gave a horse in the next field a heart attack. Thats the only animals death that can be directly linked to me.
[quote=âcarryharry, post: 761544, member: 1517â]I got a dead leg from the kick off that cunt of a bullock Jimmy Mc Nulty, does that count as i have also been called a dirty animal on occasion?
[/quote]
This does not meet the criteria for inclusion, Harry, but perhaps you might go to the sports injuries thread and describe how best to treat a dead leg, seeing I have been suffering from one since astro turf on Wednesday night.
I was shown the ould lad this topic,I thought he would get bit of a laugh out of it and he didâŚheâs a 76 yr old retired farmer!
He was telling me he used to have a terrier who was great at catching rabbits wither it was going down a burrow or out in the fieldâŚone evening the dog went down a den and didnât come back up and hadnât been seen for a few days.he was out hearding (thatâs counting stock for the dumb fuckers here)a few days after and saw a few bits of the dog at the entrance of the den.
He had gone down a badgers denâŚhe used to bring his gun hearding in the evenings so after loosing the dog he said he wanted to get the badger.so after a few days long story short the badger came out and he said the barrel of the gun was nearly in its mouth when he took the shotâŚit blew off the bottom half of his jaw/mouth but didnât kill itâŚit just ran offâŚhe found the cunt 3/4 weeks later dead prop of hungerâŚ
Badgers are prob the hardest animal aroundâŚ
Also MMB he reckons your full of shitâŚa smart man is the ould lad!! 
This is slightly off topic and pretty disturbing but here goes. When I was a young cub, myself and my friends used to play in this big forested area that ran down onto a river. One day, we were playing down there and we spotted one of the local scumbags bringing a large sack down to the river with one of his scumbag mates. Turns out there was a litter of kittens in the sack and the scumbag was bringing them down to drown them which wouldnât have been that unusual. However instead of submerging the sack, the scumbag proceeded to take each kitten out one by one and puck them into the river with his hurl. I donât think any of us slept for about a week afterwards.
[quote=âJimmy Mc Nulty, post: 761541, member: 1168â]Could somebody please give us a definitive count of the death toll at this point of the thread. By my calculations, I make it -
Dogs - Multiple casualtiesâŚat least 10
Bears - 1
Turkeys - Multiple casualties, exact figure unknown
Sheep - 1
Mice - Multiple casualties, exact figure unknown
Rooster - 1
Rats - 1
Horses - 1
Donkeys - 1
Badgers - 1
Fucking hell, but mans best friend appears to be the most targeted victim!![/quote]
You forgot Fitzyâs âencounterâ with a goat. Although that should really be on the affairs thread.
[quote=âFaldo, post: 761553, member: 1520â]I was shown the ould lad this topic,I thought he would get bit of a laugh out of it and he didâŚheâs a 76 yr old retired farmer!
He was telling me he used to have a terrier who was great at catching rabbits wither it was going down a burrow or out in the fieldâŚone evening the dog went down a den and didnât come back up and hadnât been seen for a few days.he was out hearding (thatâs counting stock for the dumb fuckers here)a few days after and saw a few bits of the dog at the entrance of the den.
He had gone down a badgers denâŚhe used to bring his gun hearding in the evenings so after loosing the dog he said he wanted to get the badger.so after a few days long story short the badger came out and he said the barrel of the gun was nearly in its mouth when he took the shotâŚit blew off the bottom half of his jaw/mouth but didnât kill itâŚit just ran offâŚhe found the cunt 3/4 weeks later dead prop of hungerâŚ
Badgers are prob the hardest animal aroundâŚ
Also MMB he reckons your full of shitâŚa smart man is the ould lad!! ;)[/quote]
Just seeing this, you showed this forum to your dad? Iâd call bulllllllllllllllllshit on that too, but when it comes to youâŚ
HOLE LEEE FOOK.
In other news, heâs obviously as dim as you.
A smarter man you could not meet blueâŚ
Always calls a spade a spade!!!
I think your an alright sort thoâŚ
[quote=âFaldo, post: 761598, member: 1520â]A smarter man you could not meet blueâŚ
Always calls a spade a spade!!!
I think your an alright sort thoâŚ[/quote]
Good to hear youâve a strong relationship with the man, cherish it pal.
In bold is, in my humble opinion, is one of the most evocative and funny couple of sentences on the internet. I squirted tay out of my nostrils when I read this earlier today. I pictured the explosion of feathers as spade met Rooster. A great yarn, and well told. 
Honey badgers are the hardest animal, fact !