Have you ever soiled yourself as an adult?

I got caught short walking from the kebab shop to my house after earlier walking from the pub to the kebab shop around 4 years ago.

The kebab went right through me and I started a drunken shuffling type jog as to try to run in proper strides would almost certainly have resulted in a loosening of the anal valve and shit spluttering everywhere.

I thought I had overcome the issue when I got to within around 50 yards of my house but the resultant mental relaxation proved fatal as I almost simultaneously shat myself as soon as I let my guard down.

I had gone drinking straight from work and was wearing a suit. The shit seeped out the sides of my boxers and destroyed the arse and upper inside leg area of my suit trousers, which I never did wear again.

My name is Bandage and I soiled myself when I was 24.

Anybody else?

2 Likes

Dancing Baby soiled himself in Glasgow once. Memorable moment that ended with the Baby shedding tears of shit as he wiped his face with a shit-stained paw.

ill never forget that till the day i die, he started crying & rubbed the tears off with his shit stained hands- a big dollop of shit was left below his eyes- the streams of tears turned brown as they went through the dollop & inadvertently rolled into his mouth

hillarious stuff

Beautiful story, wonderfully told. :clap:

About 2007 I pissed myself. It was still broad daylight and I had just gotten off a bus from Galway to Dublin and had drunk a couple of bottles of 7up in transit. I didn’t feel under any undue pressure while on board but experienced a drastic change in the tank level while walking, not helped by the heavy bag I was carrying. I saw my house in the distance, so near but yet so far. Tantalising.

With about 50 yerds to go, the dam burst and took four or five seconds at least to regain a level of equilibrium. The proximity of home and the absence of any onlookers meant the consequenceswere much less than they could have been. Thankfully this is the only time this has happened to me.

Henceforth I hope he shall forever be known as “Hands of Shit”. There would be a nice symmettry there to go with your other friend.

Jesus Christ.

Ye do realise ye have major issues if you are “shitting yourself”.

That’s a bit harsh kev, anyone can be caught short, no shame in it…I thankfully have never soiled myself as a adult but would have no qualms about dropping a log/scutter into a ditch on the way home from the pub whenn it has come to it

1 Like

It was a minor enough issue for me as I was close to my house, I had other suits and it was under the cover of darkness and with nobody else around.

dancingbaby on the other hand…

Thats slightly different from the stories above Puke.

I’m in shock.

Not very city slicker for lads to be shitting themselves.

His boxers were slicker after it happened though.

christ this is a new low.

More shitty gicker than city slicker

7 Likes

That is magnificent. Absolutely magnificent. :clap:

What an anecdote from Robin Hood there. :clap:

Cunts. Was reading this thread when walking from the train to the car and stood in a load of shite. Only noticed it when there was an awful peggy dell when I was driving.
No mess (well apart from the shite all over the pedals).

Despite what you may have read in this thread, I have never soiled myself in Glasgow.

I have, however, forced the closure of a pub following a bad dose of the trots in Amsterdam prior to Celtic’s memorable 3-1 victory over Ajax in 2001

Some funny shite in here. Congrats to one and all. Apart from Kevin, the dryshit.

I hope you intended that pun.