I got caught short walking from the kebab shop to my house after earlier walking from the pub to the kebab shop around 4 years ago.
The kebab went right through me and I started a drunken shuffling type jog as to try to run in proper strides would almost certainly have resulted in a loosening of the anal valve and shit spluttering everywhere.
I thought I had overcome the issue when I got to within around 50 yards of my house but the resultant mental relaxation proved fatal as I almost simultaneously shat myself as soon as I let my guard down.
I had gone drinking straight from work and was wearing a suit. The shit seeped out the sides of my boxers and destroyed the arse and upper inside leg area of my suit trousers, which I never did wear again.
My name is Bandage and I soiled myself when I was 24.