I’ll begin by saying I didn’t soil myself but it was the closest one could come.
I’m currently taking antibiotics for a gut bacteria thingy… It’s a three antibiotic approach and can be tough on the stomach.
So I was away holidaying in Clonakilty this week and I’m very partial to a bowl of prunes and natural yogurt from a hotel buffet when the occasion presents itself… I had a decent sized bowl and followed with an omelet and coffee. Off out to Clon early and took my tablets before heading off. Arrived in Clon and bought another coffee but was less than half way through and I started to feel some cramps - a mental thought of ‘that will be the prunes’…but the cramps kept coming and started to get worse with each wave. I was half way up the town and I was in agony, like a claw hammer being raked against my intestines … I was stood outside a chemist as a wave hit me and as it passed I wobbled in asking the chemist if the prunes were a bad decision and told him of my symptoms and he said ‘oh god yeah they would be extremely tough on the stomach with the medication’…‘ok’ says I ‘I’ll hold tough and it’ll pass shur’ – ‘it will’ says he… ‘keep it plain for the day’.
I had barely set two feet out side the door and a cramp rose up that nearly killed me… the pain and pressure of it was unreal. I barely made it to a closed shop front and let rip a clap of thunder praying but also not caring if I followed through… I didn’t but the pain and pressure was still there and I was almost bent over from it but fight or flight took over… I headed to an alleyway across the way fully willing to drop my pants if I had to but it turned out to be a forecourt for a pub and with all my power, barely holding back the onslaught, I waddled into the pub and straight to the disabled jacks and let a warm, pungent ( which quickly became vile) explosion fly loose.
I was right as rain after it but I never in my life felt anything like the cramps and that final bit of pressure I experienced in the main street of Clonakilty.
I avoided the prunes this morning.