About a year ago I sharted after a feed of some grapefruit infused IPA, unfortunatley or fortunately it happened when I was trying to flag down a taxi to get me home, had to walk a good 2 miles of hilly terrain home after abandoning that idea
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You snakey bastard. I shifted a South African girl on the hike to the lost city in Colombia and was led by hand to the dorm but I got a dose of the shits from drinking water from a stream and spent most of the night squatting over a hole in the dark by a river looking at the stars and cursing my luck. She was in my bed and whenever I got a break from shitting I crawled into a different unused bed where the blankets smelled like donkies cause I was afraid of shitting on her.
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TNH
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This wan was it?
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Thatâs worse than the time you passed out as a threesome was about to happen after you drank most of a bottle of rosè
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No, itâs not as bad as that at all.
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Do threesomes happen outside of porn and people paying prostitutes?
Only in Tipp.
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Hostel riding is great. I remember getting so drunk in a hostel in Brazil I rode this one from Canada rotten on the bottom bunk of bunk beds⌠Donât know if you ever ride in bunk beds but the noise is something else as the top bunk shakes⌠Anyway it was quite dirty sex (Canadians are filty) lots of dirty talk and me slapping the arse off her etc⌠Yeah, you guessed itâŚas soon as we finish and sre lying there a leg swoops down from the top bunk and the lady who had been peacefully sleeping there jumped down and went into the loo⌠Morto.
Yeah, cool story mouse.
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That totally happened
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This thread title drags up some painful memories. I was drinking in the Camden/Wexford Street area in March 2012. Following closing time, I returned to for further libations in an apartment in Kilmainham, in one of those apartment blocks between Kilmainham Gaol and Inchicore. After drinking 2 gallons of Guinness or thereabouts, going to a house party where only a choice of red or white wine was available was never going to end well.
I absconded some time around 7 in the morning; taking a good 10 minutes to find my way to the exit. At the time, I was living on Emmet Road beside Richmond Park, basically at the other side of the Camac from the party. Instead of exiting the complex and turning left towards Inchicore and left again at the Black Lion towards my destination, I inexplicably lost all my homing instincts and turned right, back towards the Gaol, then a further 2 rights to get to Emmet Road.
I knew soon enough after I left the apartment that a few "loose balesâ were on the way. The extra 5 or 600 yards I added to my journey would not be helpful.
As I was passing The Glen of Aherlow pub, I felt a severe rumbling in my stomach; the topography changes here somewhat, and the uphill gradient requiring an extra effort in my stride was not helpful. As I reached the chipper on Emmet Road, I lost all control of my bowels and a porter coloured liquid was gushing down my inner legs and exiting the trousers. Luckily, the early Sunday timing of the evacuation spared my blushes somewhat.
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As a postscript to this, I owe a heartfelt apology to the hot dog vendor in the park.
My puking and shitting episode occurred on the Monday and Iâd mentioned that my life partner was impacted the day before, and we thought it was food poisoning.
But when she went back to work on the Tuesday it turned out this bug had been rampant and struck down a load of her colleagues.
Some had been sick over the weekend but okay for work on the Monday. Some, like her, were hit on the Sunday into the Monday but in work again on Tuesday. And another raft of them had rang in sick on the Tuesday after feeling unwell in work on the Monday, as happened me.
I caught it from her, not from a hot dog. 
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My two sons had a dose this week and some of the dads at GoGames this morning mentioned having a bug in the week.
I was not ill. My Ester C regime combined with probiotics and digestive enzyme supplementation again has proved itself cc @Little_Lord_Fauntleroy and @Tassotti
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I was in a very similar position a few months back. I blamed a post pint chicken fillet roll for a bout of vomiting the following day. I named the establishment that served it in 2 WhatsApp groups even.
However the following day, my SO, who had no contact with the roll, was also struck down.
I did all my vomiting and shitting in the jacks.
Fair pal for fessing up mate, and I hope youâve extended the apology to the vendor in person. Otherwise, the guilt will force you to buy three hot dogs per week after your sub 25s
If she ever catches an STD youâll probably catch it too, pal.
