why do so many posters have an inferiority complex over any statement i make on here.are ye that unhappy with your own lives that the only way you get happiness is to to log into TFK and follow the herd in having a pop. at the end of the day im an anonymous internet poster on an online forum. if you dont like the anecdote, my posts in general dont bother responding or reading. some of ye get personally indignant about the least thing - shit in this instance. why not read a post on its merits rather than concocting some jealousy or bitterness in your own minds. a story about shitting the bed hardly makes me seem a great lad but sure carry on if it will make ye feel better.
One night in Waterford 13 or 14 years ago now, I was in the LA with a classmate. Weâd had a few before going in and spirits were high.
I think it was a Monday because it wasnât packed and they were selling shots of tequila for a pound a go.
Both of us were partial to a few tequilaâs back then and we proceeded to imbibe it with gusto for the next few hours, you know the usual, trying to outdo one another.
We left just before the end of the night after at least 20 shots and a fair few pints. It was like the blind leading the blind, we could barely stand up at this stage but somehow, I hailed a cab and we got back to my gaff. Yer man was fucked at this stage so I threw him on the couch and lobbed a couple of jackets over him.
In I went to my room, which was downstairs, and started taking the clothes off. I had been sitting on the edge of the bed for a while, half asleep, when the urge came, quite strongly, to defecate.
No problem, I think to myself, the small bog under the stairs is only ten steps away. No worries here, nosirree bob.
What I had forgotten, in my drunken stupor, was that my jeans were still around my ankles.
Stood up
Took a step
Over I go, head first into the carpet
My head was in pain but that was the least of my concerns as the shit flew out of me hole and landed in various spots on the floor.
Realising this, I stood up as quick as I could, promptly fell over again and spread more of it around.
Eventually got it together enough to clean myself up and pick up the majority of jobbie that was on the floor.
The following day was spent scrubbing. Three different kinds of carpet cleaner used. The smell stayed in the room for months.
My housemates werenât impressed with the smell but they did laugh their arses off.
But not for long because the lad I left on the couch was after pissing on the jackets I threw over him. I was very relieved I hadnât used mine 
Alright KIB Man, take it easy, donât shit yourself.
Oh, sorry, you already haveâŚ
sick cunts :lol:
there was a camping park next to where i grew up. one day for a laugh i shat in someone tent and wiped my arse with the poor fuckerâs jeans. it was a very hot day. hi jinks sure.
bringing back memories here I thought had gone, or at least put well to the back of my mind.
did something similar myself in the Palace in Dublin. Place would be packed, and it could take 20 mins just ot get to the jacks. anyway, I felt the need to puke, so started going to the jacks, was shoving forward but there was no budging the corwd. next thing, I couldnt hold it in. puked all over some cunts back.
worst thing was, he was wearing a hoody, so it just filled it up. but you know that relief once you puke and ur stomach is clear and its all systems go again, so I just turned around and went back and got back into the drink. Iâd be fair pissed off it happened to me tho. altho I must admit, I did kinda laugh when I looked and yer man was walking on, oblivious to the fact his hoody was after filling up with a load of puke.
I was very nearly caught short one night. Was drinking vodka red bull all evening after work, walking home after a fed of chips from somewhere or other, I felt a heat wave flush through my stomach and that was it, I had to go there and then.
Was on pretty busy street and there was nothing I could do but drop cacks and shit on the side of the road. Good few cars passed with me squatting in a suit shitting all over the footpath.
Worse thing about it was:
- I was literally a minute from home. But like I said this was waiting for no one, I barely had time to drop the cacks.
- This was no quick shit, I was there at least 3 mins shitting constantly.
- I finally finished only to have to drop cacks again 20 secs later.
- The following morning I was walking to work passed the scene of the crime and there was this ould one about 60 out washing my shit off the footpath outside her house. The smell was unbelievable.
3 Likes
I caught once but a shit fart. Luckily I was at home and in the loo at the time. Was having a leak in the toilet as you do and felt the need to fart so proceeded to do so, only this was a shit fart and ruined my jocks and jeans I had on at the time, little did I know that this was the start of a stomach bug that had me out for 3 days. Will never ever forget it. Pretty tame compared to some of the horror stories in this place.
Another time I came close was when I got the vomiting bug. Normally I would never ever puke, luckily for me everything goes south instead of north, anyways walking to the dart the station one night from work was feeling grand when I left the office and with in 10 minutes I felt like shit, starting getting the sweats and feeling like I was going to puke . Made it to the train station still feeling dodgy but made it to the folks place where I went straight to the loo and managed to go, had to wait at least an hour before I felt I could safely get in the car and drive to my place. Got back to my place and was in a dire way practically doubled over, made it to the loo but didnât know which end was going to erupt first, thought to myself, I would rather clean up puke than shit so that made up my mind, the only problem was just a second or so after I finished shitting I had to puke so no time to flush had to puke into the toilet. I think I lost a stone just in that session alone never mind the next week or so of not being more than 30 secs away from the loo. Suppose the good thing was I didnât have to clean up any thing after the first night.
:lol:
Thatâs a good one Julio. It reminds me of the time TwoRunnyEggs and i were walking down a busy street in Limerick a few years ago at about 2.00pm in the day. We came across this auld bird crouching down on the footpath, i thought she might have dropped money or whatever. The next thing we realise sheâs shitting and we see three large logs fall out of her arse. The best part was her husband was with her and was clearly horrified, he was screaming things and calling her an animal basically. I had tears running down my face at the whole situationâŚ
sounds very like players to meâŚ
top of the strip⌠although most pubs along the strip were hapy to see a big crowd arrive in and would easily give u free shotsâŚ
although i think players have 2 little crappy loos
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Mother of god that was a funny day!! An to shite outside a well known pizzeria in the heart of Limerick City! Everytime I pass it I remember that scarring image!
Disappointing, I was intrigued as to the story CLG would have told about soiling herself.
I had a wee shart once whilst doing linesman at a game one day. Not much to be done at the time, had done a big one the night before and had gone along to watch the juniors play and got called in to do the line. Was in a bad way enough, but figured the line wouldnt stress me unduly. Felt there was no danger when I pushed out the fart but then there was the dangerous feeling that more than the air had escaped. Made it to half time, trotted off (literally) to the clubhouse where said pair of jocks had to be dumped and remedial action was taken on ground zero, before having to man up for the second hlaf due to no cunt wanting to take over for me and not wishing to admit the events of the first half. Not an enjoyable experience.
She must have eaten a dodgy pizza out of there. :lol:
CLG doesnât soil herself. :rolleyes:
:rolleyes:
Dont be so desperate to fit in mate.
Are you just following me around now?
Good dog.
I now recall the time I went for my induction training at a big six firm in Dublin. I went up from Limerick with some lad from the office and stayed in Terenure at his mates place. I think they were SKC trainees and all ex UCG a right dry shower of cunts. On the Thursday night of the course there was a massive piss up and for some reason I was drinking guinness which in those days I rarely did. It was rancid but I drank away, it was probably free. Some pub near the National college of Industrial relations I think. Anyway got pissed, made it back to the digs and the black stuff literally poured out of me. Crashed out on the couch and got up during the night to puke. Then I woke around 7 in a panic and ran to clean up the greyish puke that i had left all over the kitchen floor. As I was cleaning up one of the tenants came into the kitchen, I didnât say much. Went back to the couch then and discovered that some form of dirty protest had taken place during the night and there was shit on the wall. Managed to move a chair in front of it, it wasnât copped anyway. Went to the course last day, spent most of it empty reaching in the jacks. Got the train home that evening and who was I sitting opposite only some of the lads that put me up that week. They had heard about my stomach problem and asked what happened and if I was ok, was it a bug like?I said âno I just had too much to drinkâ. Silence. They probably found the dirty protest the following Monday. Never saw them again. I was never so glad to get back into my own bed as that Friday night.
2 Likes
The worst I ever saw was during raceweek in galway, we were upstairs in the Kingshead when a fellow drinking in our company was so drunk he puked into his pint glass, he gave a look around and thought no one had spotted it and continued to drink away the pint with bits of puke floating around in it.
A close second was the night I came back to the house to find a flatmate passed out balls naked in the bath and the whole tub covered in his shit.
Youâre an honourable man Bandage.
Who was at my laptop when I was in my room?
I think the only thing to do is repost it all Bandage, from the start and with as much fictional extended detail as possible.