Direct Ryanair flights from Dublin again.
And reasonable enough too.
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A less dangerous version of the Luge in Queenstown (NZ not Cork).
@Bandage my apologies for tardy response to your request. In order to pay for these lovely family trips, one must actually do some work.
OK. I just did a search of my emails from last year.
Flights: Simply Dublin to Lanzarote. Either AL or Ryanair. When booking a few weeks back for this year, both were pretty much same price. We did Aer Lingus. My booking email tells me we just paid for one 25kg bag. But, weād a 10kg rollie bags for each of us. Free to check these on to the plane hold at bag drop desk, so to encourage folk not to bring them to their seats and all that.
Taxi: https://www.lanzaroteexperiencetours.com/ seemed to be the best deal out there. Theyāll have kids car seats but they tend to be in rag order. Same for all taxis over there. But theyāll get you there (and back). About a 30 minute journey I think.
Theyāll have a kids club for your 2.5 year old. More like a creche really where they are supervised playing. 4+ year oldās go into a different club with more activities. There is a bit of annoying thing when booking it. You can only book your kid into a club slot 1 day before at midday. So if you out on a day trip then the being child free on the following day wonāt be an option. Annoying but they do it to stop cunts like me block booking all the slots in advance on the day I arrive and then an chap like you arrives a few days later and canāt get his kids in. But the tension at reception each day as parents nervously queue is gas craic. Not impossible you queue and still miss out as when a club slot is fullā¦itās fuckin full 
. (first come first served etc). But if you on the ball, youāll be grand.
Theyāve labelled themselves as a 5 star but more like 4 star. Couldnāt have given a monkies if it was a 2 star once the kids loved it and it ticked all the boxes (see my last post).
Seems to be alot of middle class south Dubās and middle class/Douglas types Cork heads there. All with toddlers in toe. Youād want your head examined to go here with no kids. A good few English sun worshippers also but clientele all good in the main.
Now kid, remember who sorted you out with all this advice. Remember that I am basically you but living 12 months ahead of you. Iāll see you right in life (and holidays) brother.
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Iāll do a deal on the fake id and the vaccine cert
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This is a truly excellent service youāre providing. A further question for you, what type of room option would you recommend? There appears to be several.
A room with a few beds for startersā¦
Looked at my booking.com email there for my 2022 booking. It was a āSuperior Family Room (2 Adults + 2 Children)ā. Basically, there is a sliding partition door to a sitting room where the kids slept. Both kids in the same room. 1 pull out sofa bed and weād one cot. Although can request a single bed too (I think). Means if parents need to use toilet or leave the room. You donāt need to walk through kids room when they are sleeping. Only if you want to sit out in balcony do you need to walk through. TV will be in kids room/sitting room also but we barely turned it on either way. Iād wonder down to the sports bar for a beer and herself would be happy reading in the room.
Some folk do the sleeping arrangements the other way around I imagine if you want to sit outside/watch tv.
For this year, we booked the Merlin Room. Basically lay out same as above but has kids stuff in the room (toys and so on) and is located closer to the kids pool. Couldnāt get it last year. But the tv room will have 2 single beds this time as little has grown out of the cot.
When you thinking of going?
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@Bandage before I do the creche run, some other things that have popped into my head about the place. Your other half will think you are amazing pulling this place out of the hat btw.
There is a spa (not part of the all inclusive) joined to the hotel. Drop kids at the club and off you go to get the forehead massaged. Herself might like it too. Mine did.
There is a good (albeit) small playground within the resort. Youāll get loads of mileage out of it in those in between times (after breakfast, after pool and before dinner, etc). St Anneās Park playground at 9am on a Sunday in February it aināt 
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Thanks @Phil_Leotardo, this is outstanding. Iāve had one PM from a TFK member pleading with me to holiday with them but nothing like the quality and quantity of your initial pitch and responsiveness to queries arising therefrom. Weād probably be heading around mid May, if we can get a few things sorted.
Edit: I didnāt mean any offence above and was very grateful to receive your PM, @Gman.
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no thats fine @bandage, Iāll get the mini bus sorted to bring the families to the hotel. You sort out the flights there.
I actually cried there reading the hardship some forumites are calling holidays. Thankfully our villa in Spain has a private pool with kids end and play area with another playground around the corner. We have an outstanding long term relationship with the local car company so get a great price off them but more importantly, they provide modern child seats and we are not risking our childrenās lives like some on here seem forced to doā¦ Rushing down to the lobby fighting other parents every morning 
ā¦ Bedlam.
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Iād say you enjoy very comfortable servantās quarters too. Would you be ever allowed in for a dip if the family is away on an excursion?
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You earned that villa, son.
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He rode his way into it
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@Bandage weāve done the Gran Castillo that @Phil_Leotardo recommended and also the H10 that someone else mentioned in Playa Blanca.
Get a room that has some kind of suite and is close to a pool or with a balcony in the sun. Presume one of your kids is still napping so one of you will need to hang around the hotel room while heās sleeping. If you can be on a balcony close to pool or in the sun rather than off in the arse end of the complex it makes a big difference.
Playa Blanca is about 40 mins from Lanzarote airport. Thereās also similar places in Costa Teguise which is about 15 mins from airport but theyāre not as good.
AL and Ryanair usually have a flight out first thing in the morning and around lunch and then return around 11am and then late evening. Staff on both are usually great with kids. Flight is close to 4 hours so good bit more than Spain but nothing downloaded stuff on Netflix on a tablet with headphones canāt sort for you
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If you knew his missus youād know that was no hardshipā¦ The lad is punching big time
A bit sinister
That does sound ok in fairness.
However, the likes of myself and @Bandage have certain minimum standards when we holiday.
- 5 star hotels only
- I ring a bell and Iāve somebody there to carry my bags. Yurt.
- We donāt lower ourselves and waste precious holiday time having to wash bed sheets, towels, cleaning and tidying our accommodation and so on. We actually demand they are cleaned/changed everyday. The environment can go shit in itās hat.
- We donāt want to make our own fancy cocktails at any stage. By day 3 of my trip, a simple nod at the bar staff and they know my order.
- And we sure as shit wonāt be cooking our own breakfast, lunch or dinner and cleaning up after ourselves.
But if being stuck in a self catering retirement village with a heap of pensioners is your thing. Good for you 
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