I heard a good one lately.
Auld lad living in suburban Limerick had a rake of pints in the city and drove home. That was grand anyway, got home no hassle, only he got a bit peckish after he got home, so went back into the city for some chicken hut.
Half way home and a Guard pulled him over because he was driving with no lights on, wasn’t even a check point
Good enough for the ape.