Cider isnt to my liking and never will be,as it stands i cant really drink on a warm day until i can find a solution to this issue.
Its a personal issue for me,so its a problem.
Get yourself over to Tom the busker and he will have a solution…
Maybe you should stop living in a fantasy world bro. You should go and jump off a bridge and that would sort everything out fairly quickly. For real.
That’s totally fucking rad bro !
Ah that’s stoner surfer talk. Tsk glug glug glug.
Dunphs new avatar of the legendary Barney Curley is the high point of this thread so far. 
He’s some fuck that Curley lad.
I have a bit of an embarrassing problem myself…
For the last year or so all my shits have been breakers. By breakers I mean the main log falls from the stump and
you no longer feel the urge to shite. This is where the problem starts, when i begin wiping it seems the end is never in sight. I wipe and I wipe and its still shit. This has resulted in all kinds of general irritation and soreness. Sometimes it’s so bad I have to leave it for a while and come back to finish the job… Now I know most of you are trying to read between the lines here and are thinking this is some sort of dig at Kev but this is a serious issue bro’s, and I suppose it speaks volumes for the board that I feel comfortable enough to share it with you. I would take it to the Doctor, but I am adverse to having objects shoved up my rectum (Again, this is not a dig at Kev)
So has anyone experienced the above for a sustained level? Could it be dietary ?
Today is a good day, but other days are not so good and well, I wont quite express the dark thoughts I have had on a low day, but I don’t know how long more I can go on…
You’re not eating enough bran, CM…
Cm you need some roughage, something to solidify that shit. theres nothnig worse than being in an unfamiliar shitter and getting a breaker, no amount of toilet roll can restore you to the confidence you had prior to siad bowel movement, only a shower thoroughly does the job.
[quote=“ChocolateMice, post: 467321”]
I have a bit of an embarrassing problem myself…
For the last year or so all my shits have been breakers. By breakers I mean the main log falls from the stump and
you no longer feel the urge to shite. This is where the problem starts, when i begin wiping it seems the end is never in sight. I wipe and I wipe and its still shit. This has resulted in all kinds of general irritation and soreness. Sometimes it’s so bad I have to leave it for a while and come back to finish the job… Now I know most of you are trying to read between the lines here and are thinking this is some sort of dig at Kev but this is a serious issue bro’s, and I suppose it speaks volumes for the board that I feel comfortable enough to share it with you. I would take it to the Doctor, but I am adverse to having objects shoved up my rectum (Again, this is not a dig at Kev)
So has anyone experienced the above for a sustained level? Could it be dietary ?
Today is a good day, but other days are not so good and well, I wont quite express the dark thoughts I have had on a low day, but I don’t know how long more I can go on…
[/quote] :rolleyes:
Tough Break CM. Try the Guiness Retox that’ll clear your system right up.
Now lets get down to some real male issues,first off shaving or trimming ones pubic hair yay or gay?
yay on the trimming
cm buy a bidaye(sp)
With regards to the breakers, the rule is that if you have any more than 3 wipes then there is another one up there and all you’re doing is rubbing it’s face.
It can’t be rushed, if you need to flood tubes 4 and 8 and send 2 brown torpedoes into the Irish sea then you need to hold fast. Even if you’ve got a bag of baby snakes waiting at departure lounge, you can’t close the gate until they are all out.
I live by these simple rules and so far it’s going well.
Tom.
I can’t see an end.
I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape - I don’t even have a home anymore.
Do you think I should get a new keyboard?
Pro: Reckon there has to be more in the roll-on. Getting no time out of spray cans lately, especially the lynx dry shite… roll on = better value.
Con: What happens when you’re all going on the beer straight after a match but you’re the only one in the dressing room with deodarant, and someone asks to borrow it… roll on = Wrong
Con: You can’t use roll-on and a lighter to incinerate ants.
trimming is cool but be careful. I tried trimming the barbed wire around my golden phallis a while back with my beard trimmer. Tried to strim it right back but got a bit too close and suddenly had a bleeder. Not pleasant.
That happened myself a year or two ago but with a small pair of clippers,thought i would bleed to death,no scar thank fuck but couldn’t do anything with it for nearly two weeks! :lol: