Medical attention mate.
A dietician at a minimum
A week on the black lives matter thread will sort it out
It’s my arse is the problem, not my diet!
This guy sounds like hes’ got a real sweet deal going on.
Piles!
Get yourself a cream in any pharmacy. If any bleeding or blood in the stool, go to your doctor.
Is it clean (clane) when you wipe it the first time?
For once, the usual advice might work, and no-one offers it 
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It might not come back out flatty mate
I thought, it was just I’m getting older, arse is getting fatter/more roaster, more sweat, therefore arse gets agitated! No blood on the shite tang god!
Young work colleague called me a pervert
Trish Murphy
Q I have worked in the same office for almost 25 years, it has always been a fairly packed space and due to the nature of the business I work in I have almost always been the only male.
I am single and whil e I have had a few relationships there are several reasons why I never settled down.
Over the years I have been attracted to some of my colleagues, earlier in my career I even dated one of them. At the time it created a bit of office gossip, but for the past decade or so I have just been the middle-aged guy who sits in the corner.
Some of the ladies I work with are close personal friends and I have been to their weddings as well as family events such as communions and christenings.
In the last few years, as original members of the company have retired, there ha ve been a number of new younger recruits.
These newbies generally ignore me and only talk to me about work-related issues.
A couple of months ago I overheard some of the younger staff talking about me.
One of them called me a pervert and said that I leer at her breasts, and the others agreed.
I have always been ultra-conscious about the fact that I work in a mostly female environment and am aware of my body language.
This is something that has really knocked me back, it is affecting my sleep, my interactions with other colleagues and my work performance as I try to avoid these young ladies and therefore am sometimes unable to fill my work commitments.
I do understand sexual boundaries and I am shocked at what these colleagues have said about me.
I love my job.
There really is no one at work that I can talk to about this. I don’t know what to do.
AThere are two areas of your life that need action to deal with this situation: the first is professional and the second is your personal life.
Consider the situation you are in: a lone male where you have overheard accusations of leering – this is a dignity and respect-at-work issue and you are the one whose good name is being targeted. Assumptions are being made and in a way you are being objectified because of your gender and age.
This is not acceptable, and some action needs to be taken. You can look up your workplace dignity and respect policy and see what your rights are in this context: most companies and organisations have access to trained people who will speak to you in confidence so that you thoroughly get to discuss the options before embarking on action.
Dignity and respect policies only become real when they are enacted, and it sounds as if your workplace would benefit from having these issues brought into the open. If taking a case is too difficult for you, you might offer to overhaul the policy at work.This will offer you a meaningful engagement with your colleagues and might cause them to reflect on their behaviour.
The other context for you is your private and personal life. You sound lonely. It may be worth taking this crisis and using it as a catalyst for change. What you are experiencing (exclusion because of assumptions around your age and gender) is something many men can appreciate and empathise with.
However, it can be difficult to bring this up as a topic of conversation unless you have very close and open friendships and you do not describe these in your letter. Men’s Sheds (menssheds.ie for a shed near you) provides the right supportive environment for such a conversation. This could be the start of a life in which you are not so isolated.
Of course, it takes courage to take action when you feel vulnerable and alone, but any step is likely to open up new and enriching possibilities in your life.
You will find that creating any change makes other change possible, so you might set yourself a target of one new action a week for a month. You could join a club (or volunteer) where you are likely to meet people your own age and as you begin to find friendships, you will discover that the comments at work are not hitting you so hard; this is because you will be more secure in your sense of self as your friends mirror their respect for you. While building these connections takes time, you will continue to grow in confidence as you challenge your fears of rejection and hopefully you will come to a point where you might consider online dating.
You are not alone at finding yourself lonely and lacking intimacy in middle age. Once you get through the initial blocks, you will find that there is a wealth of possibilities open to you.
Take the first two steps: engage with your work policies and join a Men’s Shed, and you will be well on the way to a life that is bigger, brighter and less fearful than the one you are living. tellmeaboutit@irishtimes.com
Cleavage is like the sun…
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And the no shit Sherlock award goes to…
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Time, time will be kind when we’re apart
And your tears
Tears will have no place in your heart
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Can you throw up the article its behind the Paywall
I don’t have a sub, thought the headline was good enough. Maybe @Copper_pipe or @Fagan_ODowd can do the necessary
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Dear Roe,
I am 20 and had just started seeing someone before the Covid-19 lockdown hit. We had been having an amazing time; although we are from different counties and go to different universities, we had been seeing each other every weekend for a month or two before lockdown started.
We chose to make things official at the time, and kept in touch every day. Last week, I went to the doctor and discovered I have picked up HSV2. I hadn’t developed any symptoms before now, and he has never shown any symptoms before.
I had a few casual things with other people a while before I met him, so I don’t know where I picked it up. I am struggling a lot with this diagnosis, which I’ll have for life, and feel like a fool for not being more careful.
I was very upset when I told him, which I had to do over the phone. A few days after I’d told him, we called and he broke up with me, explaining that it wasn’t my fault, but for the last few weeks he’d not been feeling great about the prospect of not seeing me for another two months due to lockdown, and that he’d prefer to be single at the moment. He told me that in no way at all was it related to my diagnosis, but of course it’s made me wonder. When I’d given him the news he’d been shocked but it didn’t seem to bother him to the point of breaking up with me.
We haven’t spoken since as I thought it better to give him space and give myself some time too. I am incredibly upset; although we hadn’t been together long, I was very optimistic about how well things had been going . I am looking for advice on how to cope with this. I really want to ask him to meet me and talk about this properly when circumstances allow it.
The first thing I want you to do is breathe, and say out loud “I have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of.” Because you don’t. Look around you: the current state of the world is direct proof that viruses and illnesses can infect good people, and that catching a virus is not a source of shame but sheer misfortune.
Ask Roe McDermott a question
All kinds of illnesses and bugs and infections and diseases happen to all kinds of people in every walk of life, in a variety of different and occasionally random ways, and sexually-transmitted infections (STI) are no different. An STI is just another illness. An unfortunate condition that deserves sympathy, not judgment. The only reason STIs carry stigma is that our society still carries a huge amount of shame regarding sex, still views it as something “dirty” or immoral, and therefore asserts that if you catch a disease or infection from sex, this is your moral comeuppance for doing something wrong.
This is nonsense. You had sex – like the vast majority of adults in the world do – and you caught a very common STI. It’s unfortunate and unlucky. But you have done nothing wrong, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you will be fine.
HSV2 is a strand of the viral infection herpes simplex. HSV1 is mainly transmitted by oral-to-oral contact causing oral herpes (“cold sores”), but it can also be transmitted sexually. HSV2 is almost exclusively sexually transmitted. These infections are lifelong, remaining dormant in the body with occasional flare-ups where the virus is reactivated. With HSV1, flare-ups include cold sores; with HSV2, you can have genital sores. Flare-ups often become less frequent and less uncomfortable over time. There can, in rare cases, be complications with HSV; in immunocompromised people and pregnant people, symptoms can be more severe and there can be added risks, in the same way that many viruses have higher risks for immunocompromised and pregnant people.
But despite its bizarre prevalence in pop culture jokes, herpes is relatively harmless. Flare-ups are a pain, just like cold sores are a pain. But you can ask your doctor for anti-viral medication that will help lessen the frequency and severity of outbreaks, and reduce the possibility of transmitting the virus to partners.
And you can remember that you are in plentiful company. Approximately 10 per cent of Irish people have HSV2, while 70-80 per cent of Irish people have HSV1. It’s everywhere. And look, the world is still rotating, there are no herpes-only colonies and people are still having sex. Look up support threads online if you want more reassurance – you are far from alone.
Of course, like everything, you still want to be careful and protect everyone as much as you can. So first of all, if at all possible, reach out to your previous sexual partners and give them a heads-up to get tested.
Infections can be asymptomatic so they mightn’t realise if they caught it from you – or gave it to you. And realise when you’re ready to sleep with someone again and you tell them, without shame or guilt or fear, that you have herpes and it’s not a big deal but here’s some information so you can both be careful, that you’ve just been given an amazing litmus test for new partners.
Decent people will react with compassion and respect, not judgment. There may be people who decide they don’t want to risk catching it, and that’s fine too. People are allowed to protect themselves – but you always deserve to be treated respectfully.
Finally, to this man. It sounds like he wasn’t judgmental and is probably very grateful that you were honest and told him so he could get himself tested if he needs to. So take him at his word.
You’re both very young, you entered a brand-new relationship right before lockdown, when it’s very hard to sustain momentum and connection – the most committed, utterly-in-love couples are struggling right now. It’s a weird time. You would also be facing some distance even when lockdown is over. There are very real obstacles there that this man could understandably not be ready to grapple with, even if he likes you. Remember again that this isn’t a judgment on you, merely circumstance.
Of course you can ask him for a coffee when lockdown ends, to either see if he’s willing to try again, or just to end with a friendly, in-person chat. No matter what happens, you are young, you have a lifetime of meeting wonderful people ahead of you. Be kind to yourself.
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You’ve changed my life
Some fellas on here could do with this info here