Flesh that out there bud cause I think he’s played a blinder here, put some of the so called big know it all hitters to shame whilst changing my ways of cooking steak in ways I thought were never possible.
Thinly veiled, he took no shit
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Guilty as charged to clever, but surely it’s insanities you mean rather than subtleties. I am relatively new around here, used to hop in and out back in the day when it was still in its infant(ile) stage. As a former outsider the “story” rightly or wrongly about this place was that it was a bunch of lads who were banned so many times from AFR that they ran out of usernames. It seems to have matured quite a bit though in recent times.
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Don’t let the bastards get to you, pal. Stand your ground and show no mercy… However, I wouldn’t take many lads literally, not all of them anyway.
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Pan frying a steak. FFS.
This is how you cook a steak - buy the steak from a butcher, ask them what the best cut is they have at the moment. Ensure the steak is at room temperature in advance of cooking, do not just take it out of the freezer or fridge. Apply a liberal amount of rock salt and decent cracked pepper both sides, olive oil is optional.
Turn on Barbeque (but a decent 4 or 6 burner bbq please), all burners up to max. Place steak on burner plate, sear one side for 1 min, turn over, sear other side for 1 min.
This is the important bit - turn off the burner underneath one of the grill plates. Why? Because you are now going to cook the steak with indirect heat. Place steak on this grill plate. Close hood on bbq, leave for 60 - 90 seconds. Open hood, turn steak, close hood, leave for 60 seconds. Depending on thickness of steak, you may need a slight bit longer, you’ll find out over time.
Take steak off bbq, place on wooden chopping board, cover with foil, leave to rest for 4-5 mins. You now have a perfectly cooked medium rare steak. Enjoy, but only with a very large glass of decent shiraz or cabernet sauvignan. Do not ever under any fucking circumstances whatsoever, cover with a mushroom, peppercorn or whatever the fuck sauce to your loveingly cooked steak. Have some mustard with it. Or something I particularly enjoy, Teriyaki sauce in a dipping bowl. Look smug.
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Beautiful fitzy, exactly as I do myself most of the year. It’s a bit cold here in Dec - Jan so I’m forced indoors and the oven method. Not much point teaching them the grill method though as they wouldn’t have the grill nor the weather required to grill. Agree on the wine, Shiraz is a noble grape, but like the occasional simple sauce on the side (not on the steak) - sauté a few mushrooms, shallots, add brandy, flambé and then a splash of wine and a high quality beef stock. Dip the occasional slice of meat into it for something different (cue HBV and fat yanks, kilo steaks and cognac sauce).
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That’s a fantastic sounding dipping sauce Labane, I’ll try that. I bought our 4 burner bbq 14 years ago and by looking after it, it’s as good as ever. Being used a fair bit at the moment, we do a lot of fish and chicken on it. I like brushing olive oil on some cut vegetables like sweetcorn, eggplant, capsicum, zucchini, miushrooms etc and giving them a blast on the grill.
I have an old brick bbq out the back in a not very handy position (built by the previous owner), so I never used it. It’s currently planted with various herbs, but I’m thinking of taking it apart and building a wood fired pizza oven, which I don’t think would be too hard. Imagine that, walk down to the vegetable garden, throw a few tomatoes and slices of a few other just picked vegetables with some rosemary, sage or basil onto a home made pizza base, throw on some prosciutto, cook for a few minutes and enjoy on the deck with yet another glass of South Australian shiraz.
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I have a good mate who has an outdoor pizza oven. It was built for him but wasn’t crazy expensive maybe $1500. It’s an unbelievable yoke to cook with gets up to 800F, pizza takes about 3 minutes. Can cook literally anything in it but you need to have your wits about you getting stuff in and out of it.
Could be one of the best projects you undertake Fitzy. I have a River Cottage DVD where Gill Meller builds one - he had relatively easy access to a clay soil (as in the fine grained and impermeable subsoil, not to be confused with any form of soil / subsoil which roasters have a penchant for referring to as clay).
Here’s a simpler version they knocked together, but if you’d like I can root out the instructional and send it on to you.
Great work by Fitzy there to keep it going, I thought He’d slip in a line about curry sauce and half and half chips, but the “Teriyaki dipping sauce” genius 
of course labane falls for it straight away, he can’t resist a bit of tinfoil
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Teriyaki sauce with steak, still laughing at that one 
Some serious overnight internetting here
with well done steak.
Fitzy another lad who lets on his can cook but has to cover everything in sauce to hide his cremated bit of meat
While I’ve had beer can chicken and can vouch for it, I can help but wonder who first thought, “lets shove this tinny up this fellas hole and see how it tastes”.
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A shirtlifter?
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You are some ape.
Fisty and @Lebane are away from Ireland so long they now think steak can’t be cooked unless you have a brick barbeque and some teriyaki dipping sauce.
Labane now always cooks his in the bbq , except in December, although has been arguing for days that you must sear it both sides and put it in the oven and then wrap it in tinfoil. He was a big advocate for his own ‘famous’ blue cheese sauce and now he would die for fistys teriyaki.
You couldn’t make this up.
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