Trimming my son’s beard for his graduation
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Fair play, off to secondary school in September is he? 
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Reverse feeling today played golf in the Castle Course in Lahinch today with a pal of mine and my eldest, I had my best ever round went around in +1 gross off 13 don’t know what happened just was in the zone, he went around in +11 off 8, I raged against the dying of the light🤣
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A performance good enough for Greg Allen to refer to you as “Best Of The Irish” at some random European Tour event on the sports round up on RTE Radio 1’s News At One.
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Unreal 
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When your 15 year old son says, through yawn and emptied bowl of cereal, that he’s bate from helping tear up the drive and is heading to bed early (11pm) so he can go at it again as ‘he enjoyed it so much today’ : thats when you know. Oh you know something is up. Oh you know.
So after a ‘thats a great idea, see you tomorrow’ you take to the couch, sink a few beers, relax and be thankful. And you wait.
You wait to measure.just how crafty is this fucker compared to 15 year old you? . And then just as that venn diagram of drink, hard labour, good grub and general contentment intersect, you hear it. The Fred Astaire footsteps. Fleet footed shuffle towards the bedroom window and a foot on the roof.
At this point, young bull thinks his subtlety and sheer audacity to even attempt this eclipses the plausible comprehension that older grey bull could even begin to consider such is its daring. But there’s a creak as his foot goes out to meet the window ledge. Ridged.
So at this point, both young bull and old bull do fucking nothing…absolutely nothing to the point they barely even breathe for a minute. I pretend to give all focus to MOTD2 on the telly but instead shift all my senses to my ears to try hear even the slightest movement. He in turn matches all focus on my listening- "that cunt hardly heard me? " I can hear him thinking.
And then that minute or two of faked concentration on MOTD by older bull and an auld ‘oh, what an effort, unlucky’ thrown in let’s young bull’s certainty retake the wheel as he climbs out that window and head off into the night.
Mini-me doesn’t realise how much of a kick I’m seeing in him finding his feet. He’s still not hit that milestone of either realising I was that soldier too and know what he’s at or, thankfully, not hit the point he doesnt even fucking care what I’ve to think about it. But I do. My boy is a no longer: my man is finding his own feet
Go hard young man, go have your fun, be no one’s fool and fall hopelessly for an older bird or two tonight. You’ll live to cherish the fawning awkwardness and laugh at how out of your depth you were. You fucking dope…you loveable, eejity, prize-fucking dope.
But what you won’t learn tonight is that I laughed and sighed and reminisced while locking that window. I thought of the girls I was sniffing about at your age while I double bolted the door and left the key in the door. You won’t learn til I recount it over a.pint how much your oldman saw streams from his memory play out in front of him. while he made sure the car was locked so yo uouldn’t sleep in it, I filled.myself on brazen nights decades ago.
You’ll learn elements tonight my son that will begin in shaping the man you’ll become. While you think you know it all right now, youre.only starting your journey on realising you know fuck all. And what a journey of discovery that will hopefully be. But now you need to learn, if you want to be a man, you can’t be sneaky. It’s natural, it’s there. But if you want to be a man, sneaking in the shadows is not how you do it.
So, when the faux-froth boils off my necessary consternation and I, balls naked bar briefs, let you back in your home and up to your bed. And when, post breakfast, I offer a dip in hostilities and say we need to chat- it’s then we can get to the nub of it.
I just need a general idea of where you’re at and a way to contact you. And, bar a few other bits and pieces, have at it my son, life’s to be enjoyed. Keep me in the loop as.much as you can, I delight in it. But if all you find you’re able to express is honesty at this stage, that being where you’re at/when you’ll be home, then that will do for now. And if and when you’re ready to go beyond that, by God, will I be waiting for it.
Goodnight my boy, you’ve sought your own path now. And hopefully, when your cha.ge in form is complete and you’re a man yourself you’ll come to learn: the greatest reward you could ever give me is ensuring you learned to care and love for you and yours.
Now that’s some.shit that makes.you feel.old. but I’ll take it. I’ll happily take it and wrap both arms around it.
Ps- he snucknut around 1130. 3am and still no sign of the cunt back yet. Of a mind to delete all that soppy shit above and bate the cunt up and down the stairs if he and when he does turn up…
Yeah, shit that makes.you feel old
Pps: 3:38 and the roof is alive with footstep. Shits about to get juicy…I may need to re-read the above first thing as a.reminder I do actually love this little cunt I’m about to.flay and slaughter!!!
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Given the Limerick genes he probably broke into some poor auld pensioner’s house, strapped him to a chair and bayte the shite out of him for the biscuit tin of money.
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I’ll.force him to share it
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Just be thankful wasn’t teenage daughter, that’s when shit gets proper real
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He’s going to realise my hangover, which feels like an axe behind the eyes, is entirely his fault too.
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That World Cup where he was brought as a young pup seems generations ago.
2006
17 years ago. 
Lord God
Using the word ‘stripogram.’
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Have you ever had that awkward ‘pleasure’?
Go on Maurice, i sense you wish to share 