I assure you that Iām getting the best of treatment in 5B
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Good to hear
For fucks sake. Seriously? Lads frightened of a few ickle non venomous spiders.
Here on the other hand, we have Atracinae, the Funnel Web Spider. These bad boys kill people and are very aggressive. Thankfully through advancements in medical technology, anti venoms are generally available. Iāve killed a few around our place, but we have trapped a few and brought them over to the Australian Reptile Park, 15 mins away from me. They produce anti venoms there from the venoms of spiders people bring in. Fuck, but theyāre big bastards.
We have a lot of Red Backs as well which can cause serious damage to people. In fact, we have lots of different spiders here, pretty much all of them have some sort of nasty bite, so you keep away from them. The webs of some of them are pretty spectacular.
Our next door neighbour, the useless fucker, has someone spray his backyard a few times a year for spiders. Sparyās are generally useless, they just walk under the fence to our place and the other neighbours. You keep your garden and house clean, you donāt have a problem.
A friend of mone was bitten by a spider, type unknown, a few years ago. He nearly lost his arm and still has a huge scar from it.
Hereās a funnel web being taunted by a scientist.
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Wpuld it not be on your mind with the kids being around these yokes? Not to mention the fookin snakes
Of course it is, but heās well educated on how to avoid them. But we keep the house and garden tidy, so weāre rarely bothered by them. The snakes donāt really come near the house, they tend to stay in long grass and sheltered spots. 15 years living here Iāve yet to actually see a snake in the wild, even though Iām aware theyāre all around us.
Informative rating.
Iād be more worried about the crack in the wall than the little spider there Fran.
I did get bitten on the lip there a few years ago while mowing the lawn by what I think was a hornet. I just saw this blur of a yoke come flying at my face and the next thing was the pain, then the whole face swelled up. Down to the medical centre and naturally the first thing they do is jab you in the arse with a huge needle. Fucking doctors, I never understood that. I cut the top off my finger slamming a door on it when I was 7, the oul boy went into emergency mode and had me in a hospital in no time and straight away I get jabbed in the arse with a needle. āWhat do you want to be when you grow upā the condescending doctor says. āWell I donāt want to be a fucking doctorā says I to which the oul boy whacked me across the back of the head. Fuckers.
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Itās one of the benefits of living in Ireland, that you wonāt be killed by nature. Stupidity, misadventure and going to hospital are the only threats to our lives.
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Itās gas in a way. I spent most of my childhood running around woods at home, never thinking for a moment about scary animals doing me any harm (I was chased by a goat and had a worrying encounter with a rat once that Iāve outlined in these pages, but nothing youād need counselling over). Iād see foxes, badgers, hedgehogs, otters. The odd time youād be stung by a wasp. But dangerous animals were on the telly, or in far away places like Tipperary.
Here though, I go for a walk in the bush and I am shitting myself at what could turn up. The first time I came home with a leg full of leeches was bad enough. I am scared shitless of the day I will eventually encounter a snake, but I suppose you deal with it, like I have with the funnel webs and even on one occasion, a scorpion.
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Informative rating.
No place to get well, thatās for sure.
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I remember helping an engineer mark out a site down the Oxley road in Brisbane many moons ago. I encountered the biggest spider I have ever seen, it put the shits completely up me and if he hung around long enough to smell the fear heād have fancied his chances at taking me out.
I stayed in a terrible shithole in the Kao San road for a few hours one night, room was crawling with cock roaches. Got up out of bed and went drinking instead as you literally couldnāt sleep there with the noise of their incessant movements.
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This didnāt happen.
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I was always told that cockroaches only go to places that are meticulously clean. Have seen the places they turn up in Australia and Thailand Iād dispute this heavily.
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Thatās what people who run cockroach infested shit-holes say.
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I was doing some weeding at the weekend in the garden, fucking huge Funnel Web darts out about an inch from my hand, scared the living shit out of me.
Would you not catch him, and milk him? Great money to be made in milking Funnel Webs.
No, he fucked off into the grass before I could calm down and react properly, Iāve caught them before and brought them over to the Reptile Park where they do the anti venom, you donāt get paid for it though.
http://www.reptilepark.com.au/about-us/research-venom/venom-production/spider-first-aid-dropoff-points/
We have rattlers and black widow spiders to content with. I have had innumerable encounters with the BW cunts and itās only a matter of time before one sends me to the ER. A few encounters with rattlers on the golf course (well a bit off the fairway admittedly) but they tend to avoid you unless you surprise them or step on them.
Where are you Labane? Do you get the BW spiders in the house or where do you encounter them?