Suicide

Like ourselves :blush:

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By God didnā€™t hear that

You can see why social care has a huge burn out among staff,
Iā€™d a mate in Derry (Harry Boyle- co founder of Foyle search and rescue)

Bounced with him along with several years over and back to Romania ( aids clinic/ orphanages)
V grounded- mature student- social worker dealing with abused kids etc
Committed suicide- canā€™t see how his social work didnā€™t tip him over the edge ,
Worked in social care for under 4 yrs left a wife and 6 kids
So my point is social work is not for the majority of the population

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I lived with a woman before who was a social worker for HSE. She smoked like a trooper. Sheā€™d tell you a few stories and theyā€™d horrify you. I remember before she was talking about a mother who had two kids and they were living in a flat above a pub in Limerick. Someone made an enquiry as they saw these little kids walk up to Supermacs every day to get some food. They got in touch with the landlord, and eventually got access. She said the smell in there was something else. Bin bags had been used as toilets and so on. The Garda with her puked. My housemate basically said to him ā€œjust another day on the jobā€. She was able to compartmentalize it to an extent. I think if you bring that job home with you, it can weigh very heavy.

Fair play to you for your honesty about your lad. Is that the fella in UCC now? You should be very proud of him, and of yourself for the work you put in. Good to see you back around here.

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Thanks boy- yes heā€™s happy out in UCC on the freshers team aswell ,
By God I couldnā€™t do their jobs, as a foreman painter in Derry years ago I had to assess households for free decorating ( N and west housing association, dealing with ppl who basically had nothing- government sponsored)
Thankfully came across ppl in bad situations no children involved ,
But give them their due services up there were hands on, no feckin red tape,

My eldest girl works with vulnerable adults with mental health issues and all her clients are in sheltered accommodation
Well looked after not forgotten
I may be biased but in the north west the elderly etc are catered for much better from memory

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Fair play to that lady.

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Mentality she must have been vv strong

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I liked that post cos Itā€™s a nice story. But it made me think about some stuff about parenting. Iā€™m not suggesting your cousins lack this. I would have moved my kid too. But kids need to be taught resilience. They need to know that shit things happen and they will happen. People can be nasty and someday it will be their turn to take the abuse, physical or emotional. Its not right but it will happen and they need to have a defence mechanism and ability to process/overcome disappointment/and abuse. It wonā€™t stop bad shit happening but the impact of it can be lessened. So kids need tough love sometimes and to know that shit does happen and they are better placed to deal with it then when it does. Be nice is lovely, but kids need a plan b too.

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Honestly I know nothing about the rights and wrongs off it but imo parents are better off trying/helping to get their children to just fit in and go with the flow(within reason) at a younger age imo. It helps in the short term and when they are a little older they can make their own decisions about things.

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Itā€™s a much harder time now for smallies- we used sort out shit out with fists -boots
Thatā€™s not an option nowadays, mores the pity

January is an awful month for suicides. Iā€™ve lost what would have been a brother in law and cousin to suicide in January over the years. Itā€™s an awful month for many people.

Keep an eye on your friends lads, you never know who might be struggling. If youā€™re worried about someone drop them a message or meet them for a walk or a coffee. You never know how much it might help. And mind yourselves as well of course. If youā€™re struggling itā€™s always ok to ask for help.

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Kids need to know stability, somewhere or other in their lives, it doesnā€™t matter where. Chaos begets chaos

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Why not? Do young lads not have a fight around the back of the bike shed anymore?

Talking to the MIL earlier today. I was complaining of the sleepless nights with small children. She replied that the sleepless nights are worse with teenagers.

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Small kids, small problems. Big kids, big problems.

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Naw itā€™s all bitchin / bullying online

I couldnā€™t agree more. As a society we seem to trying to not expose young people to failure of any sort. Having blitzes with medals for everyone at underage sporting events, the new junior cert grades, everyone is great ethosā€¦

When a set back hits these kids such as losing at sport, a relationship breaking upā€¦they canā€™t cope.

From a sporting perspective they say you always learn more about yourself/team when you lose. Losing is a good experience when handled with support. Unfortunately as a society we seem invested in insulating the youth from it.

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My young lad comes home with paint on back of his top. I know other lads are doing it on purpose. Missus wants to report it. I said next time it happens, leather it across their face and clothes and Iā€™ll back you up. Monday should be fun

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What age is he? Juhy Junior had some issues last year in the estate with older lads trying to make him fight his mate and generally winding him up. He can flip out easily and sometimes they enjoy triggering that. One lad in particular was leading it. Myself and Mrs J were at odds about dealing with it. She didnā€™t want him fighting. I think you have to let him fight there. They have to see him stand up for himself. As soon as he did the issue stopped pretty much immediately.

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Mama J was a writer. She wrote a poem when we were tiny called 3am and it was all about that. About 15 years later she added a few verses when one of my brothers didnā€™t come home and she was up all night waiting. Itā€™s savage.

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