One thing I regret is that I would love to have stood up to people who bullied me. It wasnāt like I was a small fella, just didnāt have the bottle or the āstreet smartsā. One time I did, I went in totally unprepared and came out the worst. I think itās sometimes why I think that I wasnāt good at contact sports. I never had the ākiller instinctā you really need to nail someone.
I remember a minor football match and a row broke out and I watched a grown man enter the field to get involved and I did nothing.
I have seen people in the parish confront parents of the bullies at the time, and the parents would have denied it. Same people would be at mass collecting money etc at the time. Butter wouldnāt melt.
Some of them in fairness grew out of it, and wouldnāt be the worst now, some of them are still at it, now itās āinternal fightingā and theyāre in their mid to late 40s!
I often think if there is some pent up rage inside, and if someone vandalised my car and I found out, Iād go to town on them with a golf club, and end up in court etc! Go totally mad!
Some of the other bullies of the group are dead by suicide, screwed on drugs or drink, or just general wasters.
Once you make the decision he did youve to be willing to go further than the gurrier
When I started secondary school I was the youngest in the school by about 6 months. The nature of the food chain meant that Day 1 sitting in the canteen a lad tried to lay down a marker and hit me a woeful clatter for nothing whatsoever aside from ensuring that he got a rep as a dangerous fucker. I had never been hit before and was absolutely gobsmacked
A leaving cert who was sitting nearby and whose parents were friendly with mine got up and came over and gave the table a bang and said āthis lad is with meāā¦ Never again a problem.
Iv said it here before but the school I was in the principal had more or less mandated the older students to police the bullying in the school. They had a free enough rein to stamp it out
Maybe we just havenāt told those stories? Thereās random circular abuse/fights that happen and then thereās bullying. Bullying in my eyes is sustained and targeted. Juhy Junior canāt control himself and would sometimes lash out, as Iāve said before. Iāve found myself apologising to parents alright. I remember trying to talk to him after gaa one day after he hit 2 lads cos they celebrated beating his team. He went over and hit the 2 of them. His logic was that they had hurt his feelings so he was OK to hit themā¦
Ideally most lads want their kids to be able to stand up for themselves, throw enough pu ches to stop something and be smart and fast enough to jdentify and run away from real trouble if it presents itself. Like a good guy in a film really. No big ask.
Isnt that surprising Iād say if you did a profiling of the type of person who posts on Internet fora
I was in the middle.of breaking up with the previous wife and myself & the kids had just moved into a new gaff. After a class bday party, the organising mother contacted me saying āsuch and such is after your number, is it ok to give it to her?ā I knew your one was a single mother, not a bad sort from.a distance so said yeah. Im.on here I thought- how wrong was I?!!
See her number ring, build myself.up for the chats and instead get āI want you to know Iām going to the school.tomorrow as.your kid is bullying mineā
I was knocked.for.6 and not just because the chance of a hop was.gone! I detest bullies,.something Iāve drilled.into the kids from day dot. Was on the wrong end of it when a kid myself and had to move to Australia which ended in violence and me being ostracised from.the class for the entire time i was there. I know only too well the affect.
But also know itās not in my kidās nature. He goes the other way, minding kids more than should in some.instances. so had me in knot
Anyway, sit the young lad down, tell.him had a call from your one and weāll be going to the principalās first thing in the morning. āTell me the full truth now and, whatever it is, we can figure it out from there. But if you tell me a lie and I find out thatās the case in the principals office, youāre toast.ā
Through tears ādad I swear, heās always at everyone. We were in the line to go back in for class and he grabbed my two pals heads and banged them together so I hit him a boxā
āSwear thatās the full truth?ā
āYeahā
āGrand so, if thatās the full truth, youre ok in my books no matter what happens in the principalās office tomorrowā
School.rings 9:05 following morning, principal. After usual civilities, āMr Richie, we have to follow up and let.you know about the incident. What I can also say is while itās the first time any incident with Lionel Jnr, it is far from the same with the other boy involved. His mother is constantly on the phone or in these offices.ā
āDo I have to worry about my boy being bully?ā
āYou donāt, fine kid, youāve nothing to worry about on that (particular!) front. Thatāll be as far as this goesā
Major relief but It was something I toiled with all night. The thought of him being a bully had me sick to stomach.
Weād a polish kid who spat constantly ( national school)
Twasnt until my smallie having finished that I heard the full story
Other smallies tantalising him over his mispronunciation etc
He couldnāt retaliate in English obviously so out of frustration he started to glug at the others who were at him
Guy who was in charge takes no shite but even he couldnāt sort it
( former Cork football manager Brian Cuthbert)
So not easy for some kids
PS my smallie wasnāt spat at but if I thought he was slagging the polish kid Iād have ate him
But like most parents I was in the dark
Heās a bad cunt 
Youāre right though, thatās not bulling.
Similar to my own experience.
There are a few clichƩs about bulling, which contain varying degrees of truth.
One of the clichĆ©s is that a bully is always a coward - it depends what you mean. Iād say most bullies will stop as soon as they know theyāre going to get a thump back. But obviously not every bully will, some of them are physically brave and will be happy for a fight.
None of them are morally brave though and the main āringleaderā from school that I can remember slid into serious drug problems. He was physically brave but a moral coward in that sense.
Coming up is hardā¦ I was a little cheeky but really soft behind it allā¦ Pure innocentā¦ I ended up going to school in st. Endas (south hill)ā¦ I had at least one physical fight every year of the 5 years I was there. A few other times I didnāt fight back because of the animals I was up against, just took a punch and moved on.
Thereās nothing wrong with getting your kid to physically stand up for themselves. Encourage itā¦ But I think the most important part is talking to your kids. Explain why youāre allowing them break some fuckers nose. You canāt always be with your kids , they have to figure a lot of shit out themselvesā¦ But explaining things to them will help them to come to better conclusions and actions. Itās clear as fuck, the shits doing the bullying are not getting that same guidance at home. If you can build that open rapport with them pre teen, thereās a good chance they carry it, or some level of it, through to teen years.
I always wonder what will happen to the kids of these uppity Twitter Karens. Everything about them is woke except for their son who is raised with all the privilege of Genghis Khan.
You got that right
Other 2 bullies who were at my fella now stay well away from him( ones living near him)
Heād put them in his pocket and they know that- sees one regularly maintains eye contact and the other fella lockjaw away immediately
PS neither of the 3 got into College- failed the leaving miserably
So they had/ have issues themselves
I donāt give a fuck as long am my guys happy and in a good place
He is - in college- in sports- in work
Fuck the bullies
You see, I can empathise with this particular Karen (and not just cos she has great tits).
Sheās pretty much a kid herself mentally. Obv had the boy young,.no father figure, sheās going above and beyond to do her best. But sheās gone.the other way where her kid can do no wrong in her eyes.
Heās.going home saying heās not fitting in and the kids are being mean to him which sheās taking hook, line and sinker and going in to bat for her kid. Which only furthers the divide between this kid and the other kids, further fuelling the whole.cycle.
Itās sad and Iām thankful itās not something Iāve having to contend with like her. Heās a bully but in his and his Maās eyes heās the victim so not sure how it can ever be resolved for the boy as he moves into teenage years now
Not quite bullying, but just remembered walking in a street in Genoa about 20 years ago, and 2 lads came over to āchatā. I knew full well what they were at while walking beside me asking me random questions about football. I caught one of them putting his hand in my pocket to grab my money. I told him to fuck off and walked away. I wouldnāt mind I was twice the size as him and should have laid him out. There were people in the street. Still bugs me I didnāt stand up for myself, but youād never know, there could have been more than 2 of them and they could have been carrying a āscianāā¦
You did defend yourself. You told them to fuck off and they did. Job done.
Exactly. Best possible outcome based on situation at hand
Yer man with his hand in the pocket deserved a smack for his shoddy attempt at pick pocketing me. I am thinking thatās what most other blokes would have done, pasted him.
There was a chap in our class who was a bad bully back in primary, a cunt for it. He had it tough in fairness, wouldnāt have had a great upbringing, mother died young, his father eventually ended up with a girl who was in our class when she was 17 (Christ, I had forgotten about that). Anyhow, he died of a banger there a couple of years ago, mid 40ās. What comes around I guess.
I think that is quite common for the bullys parents to think their kid is an angel.
I doubt many would especially in a foreign city.
Nobody is talking about giving young lads permission to go around boxing whoever they want to. Big difference between that and standing up for yourself when you need to. And at some point in the life of a young lad growing up there will come a time when itās needed, unfortunately. Just the way it is.
I doubt my nephew has laid a hand on anyone since. He was shaking when my brother collected him from school after the incident, Iād say the courage it took to actually do it was unbelievable but immediately he went into a type of shock himself and was worried itād be worse from then on. When it was clear that it was never going to be an issue again (bully visibly steered clear) then he was a mixture of relieved, proud of himself and had a bit of confidence about himself that he could stand his ground and that his father had his back, once he was justified and in the right