Imagine thinking you know all the details to make a comment like that. Tis you who are being the selfish prick here blue.
RIP to the lad and strength and courage to his wife and kids.
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You cant rationalize the irrational tho thatās all you can try to do in the wake of itā¦
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Imagine that.
Like all of us, you can be a right cunt at times
Perhaps but the fact remains. 10 weeks pregnant
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Yes he knew. A ladās head has to be in a very dark place indeed, to go through with such an act, knowing as he did that his child was on the way. Itās just tunnel vision, he can only see one way out.
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I think youāre wrong there
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Youāre welcome to think it
Maybe the thoughts of being a father heightened a sense of uselessness he was experiencing. Maybe he was gay. Maybe 100 thingsā¦ The point remains, youre trying to rationalize the irrational.
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Thatās the point. Iām not rationalising it. Iām simply saying what I think. Others are welcome to do likewise. It wonāt matter to him
When Gary Speed took his own life I expressed a view somewhat along these lines about suicide in general. I now mostly thoroughly disagree with that view that I voiced then but itās nuanced.
Iām guessing that I now know the identity of the deceased in the tragic case referenced here. I did not know the man and do not anything beyond cursory details about his life, so I cannot judge him.
From the cursory details I have read about this case (again Iām only presuming that it is the same case as referenced here) the man in question worked in a job which is extremely valuable to society, but unquestionably emotionally very, very stressful and I would guess often extremely upsetting. I donāt know whether that took an emotional toll on the man but I would guess it would have. Maybe it got too much for him, I donāt know.
Maybe he had other problems. Iām not for a second suggesting that any of these applied to him, but problems such as bullying at work, money problems, substance abuse problems, having been abused as a child, marital problems, illness, illness of loved ones, the death of loved ones, or just general pressure and not being able to cope, these can tip people into a dark pit.
Sometimes they may not mean to take their own lives. Because Iām in a dark place right now, Iāve watched enough videos of people taking their own lives, specifically hanging, to know that some them of them immediately regret their decision once the rope or whatever is around their necks drops. The very decision to broadcast or record a suicide on video to me suggests that somebody craves attention and help more than they crave death.
Sometimes it may be an experiment, a toying with an idea.
We are all born through no choice of our own. I didnāt ask to be born. We find ourselves in this life with no choice of our own. We then are expected to make the best of it. This life offers a lot, but it also inflicts a lot of pain. Some people feel they canāt deal with it.
My current situation is that I am finding things very difficult with the pain and regret that I am currently feeling. Something I took for granted and considered an integral part of my self and being and my abilities is suddenly gone. For all the talking I have done about it, I do not know if I will be able to get through it. Every time I open my eyes is disorientating. I am confronted with the consequences of my decision to ignore my health in every waking moment. I feel there was a life before and life now. Life now feels to me that is about 10% of what it was before. I feel that I am about 10% of the person I was before. Everything is a struggle. Getting out of bed is a struggle. Going for a walk is a struggle. I canāt listen to music because it reminds me of happy things and thus gives me an unbearable sadness. I canāt read anything substantial. All of my human potential seems gone. I feel powerless and I feel that talking about my suicidal ideation is both my only weapon against my powerlessness and my only hope.
My understanding is we have had another suicide victim on this forum. I cannot judge that person negatively. They were clearly loved very much, but they had challenges that maybe they felt they could just not overcome, or the pain of overcoming these challenges was too much.
From my point of view, I envy anybody who has two functional eyes. I now realise that every problem I had up to this was bullshit. But I am not other people and I cannot judge their problems. I have never been abused or I have never lived in true fear of the future, apart from now.
I feel myself that if I took my own life there would be an element of selfishness to it. But I also feel thereās an element of selfishness to others telling me I should never consider taking my own life as an option. Because they donāt have to live with the disorientation and the pain and the regret and the difficulty of getting through each day that I have to live with.
I feel that we cannot really judge somebody who takes their own life unless we are in that personās head. And we will never be fully inside another personās head. All we can do is contribute to an environment where people can feel more able to give voice to their problems to people who can help them. And hopefully in most cases that will be enough. Sometimes it wonāt be.
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Sometimes itās just better to not comment
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I seen a person preparing for suicide a number of years ago. I didnāt know it at the time though. I didnāt even know who he was but I found out later when he did it later that evening.
I first saw him when I returned to my office after a meeting. My office is ground level and I looked out onto a grass verge with some trees and shrubs on it and a very busy route the other side of the verge. I came back into the office and this person was standing at the tree looking straight in at me opening his trousers as if to go for a slash. I remember saying to myself āfuck sake he can hardly be that stuckā and he was looking straight in at me / through me. I went to the office next door and said to the lads in there am I imagining things or is this fella about to about to have a lash in front of everyone passing walking and in cars etc.
As we looking on one of the lads say he thought he was taking off his belt and checking out the tree. We werenāt sure and we debating it between us. One of the lads said he is after throwing something up into the tree or is examine something up in it. It was happening quick enough. And all the while this fella was oblivious to anything going on around him.
What happened next seemed to snap him out of it - people dragging heavy weights behind them weight training went past making an awful racket and that brought him round. He did himself up and started to move off.
A couple of us went out to see if we could figure out what went on. We looked around for him but no sign and we checked out the tree but no marks or damage etc.
Later on that evening I was at home and I got a text from one of the lads saying do you know the fella we say today - well he is after being found after hanging himself.
I think from what I saw anyway his mind was gone and he was set on it. He was in a different zone altogether the poor fella.
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Some fine and reasoned posts in among there. Well thought out and well written. Itās an emotive subject and nearly all here have been touched by it. Myself included. My opinion wonāt be changing but I respect yours also.
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Sadly thereās nothing you can do about the eye but wait and see (sorry) what happens, but you can control every other element of your life. You need a purpose other than sitting on your hole all day. Would you consider applying to do a degree next year? As a mature student youād get into any course in a University or one of the new fake universities on Round 0, before offers made to leaving certs. Apply for software development, I think youād enjoy and be challenged by that. Iāve seen plenty people go back in their 40s and 50s and have fine careers after it. Stay away from shite like gender studies and the rest. Apply in January and you have until next September to see if the sight improves but it would be something to aim for. I work in the post office in UL and see this avenue working for people every year.
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Two people i know who had career burnout to the point of breakdown went back and did further education in something completely different from their career.
Theyāre both successful again, one in the new skill and the other in the old one again
3rd level education is brilliant to bury your focus in something
Good advice
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We have the most accessible 3rd level education system in the world Iād say. One of the only things we do well.
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Best thing about this country, we canall be half way out d gap.
I saved a young lady from suicide once. Right place at the right time i suppose. I told a few lads on tinternet and all i got was a stream of abuse about being a gay nightswimmer. Iād do it again though. Nightswimming is great.
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Steamer.
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