Suicide

It just seems there is more talk out of the state bodies about dealing with it but very little action. The likes of Pieta house are doing so much with so little help from government. I do know from talking to them that they are actively trying to set up specific programs within the Gaa in each county, but with fuck all money, this might not happen for ages. There are so many young men involved in Gaa, there is a huge amount that could be done there as well obviously as in schools where work there should be a given.

[quote=“Mac, post: 850927, member: 109”]5 years on from this thread being started and while progress has been made it’s still so hard to accept that some people can’t get the necessary help to stop them taking the ultimate decision. I suppose the harsh reality is that some may well be able to avail of services but their minds are so far gone that the decision is made and nothing will stop them. That’s what I really struggle to get my head around. Having dealt with family members suffering with depression I think it’s often understated how much it can completely take over someone’s body and mind.

In recent times we’ve lost a politician to suicide, an Olympic boxer, a very well known chef had lost his son but covered it up. And now an intercounty GAA player. How long will suicide remain a taboo topic and how long before people realise mental health is a serious issue? I’m fucking sick of it to be honest. Times like this make you want to just jack your job in and go work for free for the likes of Pieta House or Console. At least they’re trying to do something about it, although mostly reactive. How the hell can this be stopped?

Sorry if it’s a bit raw at the moment given what’s just happened.[/quote]
The issue of reporting will come up again no doubt. Reports at the moment refer to the “sudden death” - we’ve been over the reasons why many times, but it’s hard to see a problem being successfully tackled if it’s not talked about openly.

That’s very true but given how many ‘high profile’ cases there’s been I struggle to understand why this aspect hasn’t changed.

They ran the pilot program in Limerick and the response from the clubs was only ok, think there was about 20 clubs who sent individuals to undergo the training.

There is a motion going before the county board this year that every club should be required to nominate a person and have them under-go that training. It’s a small thing but you never know when it might help.

[quote=“TreatyStones, post: 850945, member: 1786”]They ran the pilot program in Limerick and the response from the clubs was only ok, think there was about 20 clubs who sent individuals to undergo the training.

There is a motion going before the county board this year that every club should be required to nominate a person and have them under-go that training. It’s a small thing but you never know when it might help.[/quote]

I know a lad from one of the clubs who took up the training programme and has been completely taken with it. He said it was superb and had no idea of the hard work being put in by Pieta House until he got involved. He’s volunteering there every weekend and some weeknights since.

I think it’s actually 2 or 3 clubs that have put motions into the convention. They should go through on the nod if people have any sense.

[quote=“TreatyStones, post: 850945, member: 1786”]They ran the pilot program in Limerick and the response from the clubs was only ok, think there was about 20 clubs who sent individuals to undergo the training.

[/quote]

Was this confined to Limerick? Seems like a great idea.

[quote=“Mac, post: 850927, member: 109”]5 years on from this thread being started and while progress has been made it’s still so hard to accept that some people can’t get the necessary help to stop them taking the ultimate decision. I suppose the harsh reality is that some may well be able to avail of services but their minds are so far gone that the decision is made and nothing will stop them. That’s what I really struggle to get my head around. Having dealt with family members suffering with depression I think it’s often understated how much it can completely take over someone’s body and mind.

In recent times we’ve lost a politician to suicide, an Olympic boxer, a very well known chef had lost his son but covered it up. And now an intercounty GAA player. How long will suicide remain a taboo topic and how long before people realise mental health is a serious issue? I’m fucking sick of it to be honest. Times like this make you want to just jack your job in and go work for free for the likes of Pieta House or Console. At least they’re trying to do something about it, although mostly reactive. How the hell can this be stopped?

Sorry if it’s a bit raw at the moment given what’s just happened.[/quote]

That’s a passionate response Mac and I must say I find your responses on the topic very good and empathetic. You obviously have first hand experience of it.

But I don’t like this notion of ‘stopping suicide’. You are dealing with emotional beings here, not heart disease where once you find a cure then that’s it. Every one of them have a different story to tell, how they have grown up and what they face in their life. For a lot of them Italy not be clinical depression at all, they may well have lost someone close and cant cope with it.

So how you tackle ‘it’ is you recognise that there is no ‘cure’ - it’s about management. Life is fucking tough and it is more tough for some people and that is the reason behind it for me.

As you say you can have all the counsellors in the world - some of whom do more harm than good but sometimes it just doesn’t work. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try but we should stop looking for this ‘cure’ because unfortunately one doesn’t exist.

The most frightening thing about this stuff always is how little idea friends and family seem to have had about there being any issues there at all. It almost always seems to come right out of the blue.

I’m sure it could easily be put in place in all counties. I think it’s called the “Mind Your Buddy” programme. As @TreatyStones says it was a pilot scheme in Limerick and the response was lukewarm if I recall.

I think Dublin did something similar and didn’t they wear a jersey supporting Pieta House at some stage during this year’s National Football League?

[quote=“Elvis Brandenberg Kremmen, post: 850960, member: 1624”]I’m sure it could easily be put in place in all counties. I think it’s called the “Mind Your Buddy” programme. As @TreatyStones says it was a pilot scheme in Limerick and the response was lukewarm if I recall.

I think Dublin did something similar and didn’t they wear a jersey supporting Pieta House at some stage during this year’s National Football League?[/quote]

Mind our men.

www.mindourmen.ie

[quote=“Mac, post: 850961, member: 109”]Mind our men.

[www.mindourmen.ie/quote]

That’s it. Thanks.[/quote]

[quote=“farmerinthecity, post: 850956, member: 24”]That’s a passionate response Mac and I must say I find your responses on the topic very good and empathetic. You obviously have first hand experience of it.

But I don’t like this notion of ‘stopping suicide’. You are dealing with emotional beings here, not heart disease where once you find a cure then that’s it. Every one of them have a different story to tell, how they have grown up and what they face in their life. For a lot of them Italy not be clinical depression at all, they may well have lost someone close and cant cope with it.

So how you tackle ‘it’ is you recognise that there is no ‘cure’ - it’s about management. Life is fucking tough and it is more tough for some people and that is the reason behind it for me.

As you say you can have all the counsellors in the world - some of whom do more harm than good but sometimes it just doesn’t work. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try but we should stop looking for this ‘cure’ because unfortunately one doesn’t exist.[/quote]

Fair points farmer. I don’t think for a minute that we’ll ever be able to stop it. It sounds a bit silly but it’s really about awareness. Look at what Jim Breen did with the Cycle against Suicide last year. I did the last leg of it from Dundalk to Dublin and some of the stories you hear at the stops and along the way are inspiring. That was just 1 guy (albeit with deep pockets) who suffered from depression who wanted to make a difference. Roz Purcell and Bressie spoke at it and while I would have had both of them places as cunts beforehand you come to realise that at the back of it all they’re really no different to any of us with the same things likely to keep them awake at night.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that there’s a bit of ignorance to mental health issues and suicide and people rarely stop and think about anyone around them. It’s very easy to bury your head in the sand and carry on as normal but how often would anyone take a mate aside and just ask him or her if everything is ok? It might seem overly simplistic but it’s amazing the difference that having an outlet can make to people before things spiral out of control.

[quote=“TreatyStones, post: 850945, member: 1786”]They ran the pilot program in Limerick and the response from the clubs was only ok, think there was about 20 clubs who sent individuals to undergo the training.

There is a motion going before the county board this year that every club should be required to nominate a person and have them under-go that training. It’s a small thing but you never know when it might help.[/quote]

Any copy of the motion knocking about?

[quote=“farmerinthecity, post: 850956, member: 24”]That’s a passionate response Mac and I must say I find your responses on the topic very good and empathetic. You obviously have first hand experience of it.

But I don’t like this notion of ‘stopping suicide’. You are dealing with emotional beings here, not heart disease where once you find a cure then that’s it. Every one of them have a different story to tell, how they have grown up and what they face in their life. For a lot of them Italy not be clinical depression at all, they may well have lost someone close and cant cope with it.

So how you tackle ‘it’ is you recognise that there is no ‘cure’ - it’s about management. Life is fucking tough and it is more tough for some people and that is the reason behind it for me.

As you say you can have all the counsellors in the world - some of whom do more harm than good but sometimes it just doesn’t work. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try but we should stop looking for this ‘cure’ because unfortunately one doesn’t exist.[/quote]

Exactly, pal.

By the time we reach adulthood our decision making, thought process and life coping skills and all the rest are formed. Dealing with loss is a massive part of it and you just don’t know how people are going to react, but more education at a younger age may help people deal with it better when older. You can’t stop depression and the dark place it puts people in, but again, if people are exposed to it at a early age, explained what it is, how it affects people etc they again may cope with it better when older as they know it’s a condition, that affects many people, not some taboo subject that they need hide. Most of the people I know who suffer from it or have committed suicide, it has been down to loss and being single. The last part might seem like an irrelevant point to make, but when you are going home alone when not in a good place, it adds to it- but that is just folk I know, plenty of younger lads, living at home etc where being single wouldn’t impact as such have made the decision to committ suicide. Of those I know of, they were all rural chaps- A few were all of the same mould, real gentle and almost shy lads that everyone liked, sons of farmers, @chewylouie may know of one, from Gillouge, tho he was a few years older than him. But there’s an isolation in the countryside that’s even more magnified in the city which often tends to be filled with alcohol… I’ve rambled, but we have to start adressing this problem from a young age- That cunting second level education of ours is plain fucking useless, it teaches kids nothing about the world or the problems they may face-

[quote=“Elvis Brandenberg Kremmen, post: 850962, member: 1624”][/quote]

They have the 2 set ups. The mind your buddy is the one they are planning to roll out into Gaa clubs, but the mind our men one is what is most prominent with them now.

Have spoken to Pieta house about it and Wexford or a south east county is on the list for a pilot like in limerick, but funds are the biggest obstacle to them

[quote=“Mac, post: 850963, member: 109”]
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that there’s a bit of ignorance to mental health issues and suicide and people rarely stop and think about anyone around them. It’s very easy to bury your head in the sand and carry on as normal but how often would anyone take a mate aside and just ask him or her if everything is ok? It might seem overly simplistic but it’s amazing the difference that having an outlet can make to people before things spiral out of control.[/quote]

by and large the Alpha males of Ireland can’t handle that unfortunately. … They could tell you something down the pub with 10 pints in them and you wouldn’t even remember the conversation the next day…
do you think all suicide is down to depression or would you think sometimes people are actually quite selfish and because their life didn’t work out the way they planned they have no interest in just existing?..I think sometimes the sense of entitlement some people have growing up doesn’t prepare them for the real world…and when it hits them they can’t handle it…Depression is a totally different issue.

[quote=“scumpot, post: 850968, member: 182”]by and large the Alpha males of Ireland can’t handle that unfortunately. … They could tell you something down the pub with 10 pints in them and you wouldn’t even remember the conversation the next day…
do you think all suicide is down to depression or would you think sometimes people are actually quite selfish and because their life didn’t work out the way they planned they have no interest in just existing?..I think sometimes the sense of entitlement some people have growing up doesn’t prepare them for the real world…and when it hits them they can’t handle it…Depression is a totally different issue.[/quote]

I think in years to come we’ll end up splitting out depression into a wider range. There’s so many different types of depression / mental illness that grouping them all together is a bit pointless. The 2 suicide cases I was closest to were so far apart in circumstances that trying to deal with them both in the same way is pointless. One was in and out of St John of God for months and the other was completely out of the blue.

Again its simplistic but different types of cancer are dealt with in completely different ways so why shouldn’t different types of depression or mental health issues be the same?

@count of monte cristo Sent you a pm.

Mental illness fills such a wide spectrum lads and anyone that has a healthy mind should count themselves lucky.

A few people in my circle…

One suffers from depression from years and battles away, takes to the bed for a week or two when it gets back, takes meds, gets therapy and has been battle it for years. Married with kids and keeps break on the table without much fuss. He is in the middle of a bout at the minute but he’ll bounce back. The time of the year has alot to do with it in his case.

Another… super busy person, high achiever, kids, married, successful job, good parent… but is floored with OCD attacks that come at random. Cant leave the house until the anxiety levels drop, could last a few days. How he manages to keep it together I don’t know, but being busy helps him.

Then there a neighbour who had it all, or so we thought… and he ended his own life recently without much of a clue why.

[quote=“Mac, post: 850963, member: 109”]
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that there’s a bit of ignorance to mental health issues and suicide and people rarely stop and think about anyone around them. It’s very easy to bury your head in the sand and carry on as normal but how often would anyone take a mate aside and just ask him or her if everything is ok? It might seem overly simplistic but it’s amazing the difference that having an outlet can make to people before things spiral out of control.[/quote]

I don’t agree with the first line Mac. I actually find it heartwarming to see the posts on this thread which show genuine insight and concern about this issue. I don’t think people are ignorant, quite the contrary in fact.

I have posted on here before about my battle with depression. I had it for years without telling anyone outside of my family about it. Then I was hit another wallop and I decided I had to tell my mates as I was in quite a bad way and they would be wondering about it. The reaction I got was incredible, people gathering around you. It really lifts your spirits

The majority of people in this world are very, very good.

I’m not sure if that is what you’re getting at. I suppose no one is going to ask their mate if everything is alright all the time. I have had mates split up with their birds and I have asked them if they are ok. I have seen mates work 12 hours days for weeks and I have asked them if they are ok. I don’t know if there is much more that you can do.