[QUOTE=âfenwaypark, post: 1061352, member: 276â]I first seriously contemplated suicide while living in Boston. As happens to a lot of expats, I found myself drinking the arse out of it. Blackouts were common, going into work plastered became too common near the end of my stay. I would arrive into work, show my face and then head to a cubicle on another floor for a kip till about lunch time untill I âsoberedâ up. One night, while pissed decided I was going to buy some blades, go for a hot bath a slit my wrists. Itâs pretty easy to make a decision like that when pissed, angry and vengeful. The fact that my brother and father were in Boston at the time gave me enough clarity to pull the plug. Shortly after, I made the decision to return home as I knew if I continued on the same path there was only going to be one outcome. I was unhappy and drinking was just a vehicle of escapism for me.
Pretty much knocked drink on itâs head when I returned home and started exercising and running in particular. Life has been pretty cruel to Mrs. FWP and myself in the past 4 years. I have often had suicidal thoughts over this period, which would be triggered by some personal crisis. I googled âeasy ways to kill yourselfâ on a number of occasions. I know that I would ruin Mrs. FWPâs life and that of my family if I was to go down that road. This has nipped it in the bud so far for me. I have abstained from drink for about 20 months now. Itâs been really easy to do as life does not permit nights out anymore. However, it has been a blessing in disguise as alcohol combined with a heightened emotional state are a bad combination for me (and many others Iâd imagine). Running has been a huge positive impact mentally aswell.
Suicide is complex. You can have all the theories in the world on why people commit suicide etc. However, the causes are varied and near on impossible to draw any firm conclusions. I would respectively ask not to receive any PMs on the back of this.[/QUOTE]
Jesus thatâs pretty dark FWP, sorry to hear youâve been affected like this. I hope revealing problems on here helps a bit. Youâve had tough time of it fr what youâve said here in the past, I hope things take up a bit for you and the family sooner rather than later. Itâs easy to say, but keep going, things will hopefully get better. Happy Christmas, both to you and all the rest here. Stay safe lads.
[QUOTE=âfenwaypark, post: 1061352, member: 276â]I first seriously contemplated suicide while living in Boston. As happens to a lot of expats, I found myself drinking the arse out of it. Blackouts were common, going into work plastered became too common near the end of my stay. I would arrive into work, show my face and then head to a cubicle on another floor for a kip till about lunch time untill I âsoberedâ up. One night, while pissed decided I was going to buy some blades, go for a hot bath a slit my wrists. Itâs pretty easy to make a decision like that when pissed, angry and vengeful. The fact that my brother and father were in Boston at the time gave me enough clarity to pull the plug. Shortly after, I made the decision to return home as I knew if I continued on the same path there was only going to be one outcome. I was unhappy and drinking was just a vehicle of escapism for me.
Pretty much knocked drink on itâs head when I returned home and started exercising and running in particular. Life has been pretty cruel to Mrs. FWP and myself in the past 4 years. I have often had suicidal thoughts over this period, which would be triggered by some personal crisis. I googled âeasy ways to kill yourselfâ on a number of occasions. I know that I would ruin Mrs. FWPâs life and that of my family if I was to go down that road. This has nipped it in the bud so far for me. I have abstained from drink for about 20 months now. Itâs been really easy to do as life does not permit nights out anymore. However, it has been a blessing in disguise as alcohol combined with a heightened emotional state are a bad combination for me (and many others Iâd imagine). Running has been a huge positive impact mentally aswell.
Suicide is complex. You can have all the theories in the world on why people commit suicide etc. However, the causes are varied and near on impossible to draw any firm conclusions. I would respectively ask not to receive any PMs on the back of this.[/QUOTE]
Fair play to you. Not easy come out and say that but I imagine you have reached a stage where you can rationalise it from a safe distance.
Who knows whats around the corner for any of us. If you told me 5 years ago that I would be as happy as I am now I would never have believed you⌠I was low at a serious low at the time but suicide wasnât an option to be honest. Iâd be too shitless.
Replacing drink with exercise was a savage move.
Kids do bring a sense of purpose I suppose and I tend to have less time to think these days which can be a good thing in itself.
It should be intuitive but no harm teaching kids coping mechanisms in schools from an early age.[/QUOTE] @TreatyStones
The subject is suicide.
There is nothing to suggest before or in that post that he is talking about anything other than people who have committed suicide. Because thatâs what me and Raymond were talking about.
[QUOTE=âcaoimhaoin, post: 1061358, member: 273â]@TreatyStones
The subject is suicide.
There is nothing to suggest before or in that post that he is talking about anything other than people who have committed suicide. Because thatâs what me and Raymond were talking about.[/QUOTE]
I have to say that I also gathered from Farmerâs post that hewas talking about himself and his own situation.
[QUOTE=âfenwaypark, post: 1061352, member: 276â]I first seriously contemplated suicide while living in Boston. As happens to a lot of expats, I found myself drinking the arse out of it. Blackouts were common, going into work plastered became too common near the end of my stay. I would arrive into work, show my face and then head to a cubicle on another floor for a kip till about lunch time untill I âsoberedâ up. One night, while pissed decided I was going to buy some blades, go for a hot bath a slit my wrists. Itâs pretty easy to make a decision like that when pissed, angry and vengeful. The fact that my brother and father were in Boston at the time gave me enough clarity to pull the plug. Shortly after, I made the decision to return home as I knew if I continued on the same path there was only going to be one outcome. I was unhappy and drinking was just a vehicle of escapism for me.
Pretty much knocked drink on itâs head when I returned home and started exercising and running in particular. Life has been pretty cruel to Mrs. FWP and myself in the past 4 years. I have often had suicidal thoughts over this period, which would be triggered by some personal crisis. I googled âeasy ways to kill yourselfâ on a number of occasions. I know that I would ruin Mrs. FWPâs life and that of my family if I was to go down that road. This has nipped it in the bud so far for me. I have abstained from drink for about 20 months now. Itâs been really easy to do as life does not permit nights out anymore. However, it has been a blessing in disguise as alcohol combined with a heightened emotional state are a bad combination for me (and many others Iâd imagine). Running has been a huge positive impact mentally aswell.
Suicide is complex. You can have all the theories in the world on why people commit suicide etc. However, the causes are varied and near on impossible to draw any firm conclusions. I would respectively ask not to receive any PMs on the back of this.[/QUOTE]
Fair play fenway. I lived within a similar landscape to you in the same part of the world. It was pills and coke for us. 3 are dead now, 2 to suicide.
Being addicted to exercise is not 100% healthy (Iâm on about myself here), but itâs far better than most other addictions. Iâve got very good at the balance now.
However having come back I notice some people I know who basically remained drinking every weekend since I left have the same issues as ever. They never go away, you (as in anyone) needs to face them at some stage. Usually by talking. Itâs amazing unholy successful to have chats about your issues. Iâm blessed to have some extraordinary friends. The problem is not everyone has.
And thatâs my main point, related to what farmer said. Most of us here are blessed to have people around us. There is quite a bit of luck in that.
And as for bringing it into education, I think thatâs a parents job.
[QUOTE=âcaoimhaoin, post: 1061346, member: 273â]He didnât say that. And even if he was clear, is every single person he knows who did this in that catogory, I find that extremely hard to believe. Itâs a clear " those people are weak and Iâm strong" comment. " I like farmer, but itâs a cunt of a comment.
Iâm sure itâs part of a reason for it in some cases, but not all.
Is suicide because a young mans calls for help against abuse lacking coping skills? When asking for helping is in fact coping, whereas the ignorance or cover up is out of their control.
There is no one blanket you can throw over suicide.[/QUOTE]
Kev,
There was nothing in my original comment to suggest I indicated a strong or weak personality to suicide. I mentioned coping ability because ultimately the âstrengthâ in this regard is, in my view, critical to the likelihood of suicide.
Some people can withstand unbelievable tragedy and live their lives somewhat afterwards. Some people canât. I am not for one minute casting any judgement on such people, in fact I would say I am such a person myself. I do believe that coping skills are a critical area of mental health and any education towards young people in this area would be fantastic in my view.
[QUOTE=âfenwaypark, post: 1061352, member: 276â]I first seriously contemplated suicide while living in Boston. As happens to a lot of expats, I found myself drinking the arse out of it. Blackouts were common, going into work plastered became too common near the end of my stay. I would arrive into work, show my face and then head to a cubicle on another floor for a kip till about lunch time untill I âsoberedâ up. One night, while pissed decided I was going to buy some blades, go for a hot bath a slit my wrists. Itâs pretty easy to make a decision like that when pissed, angry and vengeful. The fact that my brother and father were in Boston at the time gave me enough clarity to pull the plug. Shortly after, I made the decision to return home as I knew if I continued on the same path there was only going to be one outcome. I was unhappy and drinking was just a vehicle of escapism for me.
Pretty much knocked drink on itâs head when I returned home and started exercising and running in particular. Life has been pretty cruel to Mrs. FWP and myself in the past 4 years. I have often had suicidal thoughts over this period, which would be triggered by some personal crisis. I googled âeasy ways to kill yourselfâ on a number of occasions. I know that I would ruin Mrs. FWPâs life and that of my family if I was to go down that road. This has nipped it in the bud so far for me. I have abstained from drink for about 20 months now. Itâs been really easy to do as life does not permit nights out anymore. However, it has been a blessing in disguise as alcohol combined with a heightened emotional state are a bad combination for me (and many others Iâd imagine). Running has been a huge positive impact mentally aswell.
Suicide is complex. You can have all the theories in the world on why people commit suicide etc. However, the causes are varied and near on impossible to draw any firm conclusions. I would respectively ask not to receive any PMs on the back of this.[/QUOTE]
Thatâs a very brave post FWP - hope those thoughts keep at bay.
[QUOTE=âKinvaraâs Passion, post: 1061357, member: 686â]Fair play to you. Not easy come out and say that but I imagine you have reached a stage where you can rationalise it from a safe distance.
Who knows whats around the corner for any of us. If you told me 5 years ago that I would be as happy as I am now I would never have believed you⌠I was low at a serious low at the time but suicide wasnât an option to be honest. Iâd be too shitless.
Replacing drink with exercise was a savage move.
Kids do bring a sense of purpose I suppose and I tend to have less time to think these days which can be a good thing in itself.[/QUOTE]
Excellent post KP and one which I would completely relate to (apart from the kids part).
Just over 3 years ago I was hospitalised due to depression. Suicide crossed my mind and worryingly it filled me with relief. I was too shitless as well though. This is where I think James Wade has been superb in describing the unspoken world of suicide ideation.
Two months later I lost my Dad and I thought I was going to be overwhelmed. Somehow I kept pushing through, but felt horrific. About 8 months later, my girlfriend ended if with me, unable to live with a depressed person. I donât blame her.
And now - things are great. I an with another girl for just over a year and she is fantastic. She understands me much more than my ex. I donât really know how I got there but a great family, supportive mates (many of whom are on this website) and my girlfriend were massive. Oh and I have a fantastic therapist who I was blessed to meet.
I closely knew six people that have committed suicide and have had personal demons with this in the past also. As mentioned earlier the best
cures imo are a bit of exercise and\or talking to somebody.
A forum and a thread like this could actually be life saving to someone as it gives people a
chance to talk about things that they would not do outside of here.
There was nothing in my original comment to suggest I indicated a strong or weak personality to suicide. I mentioned coping ability because ultimately the âstrengthâ in this regard is, in my view, critical to the likelihood of suicide.
Some people can withstand unbelievable tragedy and live their lives somewhat afterwards. Some people canât. I am not for one minute casting any judgement on such people, in fact I would say I am such a person myself. I do believe that coping skills are a critical area of mental health and any education towards young people in this area would be fantastic in my view.[/QUOTE]
Fair enough farmer, weâll agree to disagree, I read it the way I read it in the context and it still reads the same way. I never said coping isnât part of it though, itâs some people have a better environment that others, exactly as you alluded to yourself.
And fair play to you, while no doubt you got help, you have to allow the help in as well, which is something many people fail at and that can lead to even more extreme isolation. I know this myself from both personal and a friends experience.
If any educating has to be done it has to be at a parenting level though. Teachers already have enough on their plate and while they obviously need to play a role, coping mechanism HAVE to be developed at home to be truly effective IMO. If there is a way of helping parents there then great, but otherwise itâs a parents role, they already try to pass off enough.
And that leads me to another issue, which is societal. Life and the keeping up with the joneses is a massive issue in my view. I am flabbergasted at how many people I know now have nannyâs. I think thatâs just mental.
But as bad winner said somewhere, to live in Ireland and have decent life you have to have a brain and work harder than is normal. Thatâs a major problem and itâs leading to cancer, suicide and under developed, un-parented kids.
Horrific. A neighbour of mine was driving his car one night and a woman jumped out in front of him and was killed. Was not her first time trying it. Iâd say I never set eyes on the man again he died a few years later his nerves were completely shot. If you imagine the hop you get if someone crept up on you unexpectedly your heart would be going 90. Not sure when you would ever relax again if this shock happened
Does Limerick have a Marine Watch on the quays in the city ? For the last two years in Wexford town there has been no suicide attempts and loads of rescues thanks to the voluntary Marine Watch. I know many people who have jumped off Wexford bridge, all under 30. Thank God for the volunteers.
I seem to remember my father telling me he was on a train into Galway circa 1983 and it being delayed for ages - it turned out it had hit a toddler who had strayed onto the line a few miles outside Galway. The driver was in floods of tears and had to be helped off when they eventually got to the station. Or something like that.