What is going to be your target spend per head?
If someone has a bread & jam, with a coffee that’s €4.50
You’d need to serve 100 people a day to bring in €450, if it’s the type of place where people are going to bring in their own records and relax it sounds like they might dwell a while. So you might have some bearded prick, with his lumberjack shirt and weird glasses taking up a table for 2 hours and you only making a couple of quid off him.
I have an idea for the name and or tagline.
“Bread with Jammin”
You can have that one for free.
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“Sounds very hipster and cuntish, should be a winner.
Location would be key”
Kilmallock.
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You could make slimboy fat.
The takeaway market is the thing you’re missing.
Sell the full loaves for €4 take away and coffee for €2 take away and you’ve got a business O’Dowd
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So he’s just a bakery ?
You are missing the point here. The type of cunts that go to a place to eat bread and jam and listen to records need to be seen doing it.
It’s like the cunts going to the cereal cafe, the same pricks wouldn’t even look at a bowl of coco pops at home, but get a few good reviews in a blog and some funky signage and suddenly the bearded bastards can’t pass the door without having to grab a quick bowl of frosties.
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There is a hipster cunt after joining my team. He’d have a path worn to Fagans place.
Is the jam ethically produced?
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I trust you’ll be unjoining him presently.
Yes all the berries are humanely killed before being boiled
Fruit foraged and grown locally. I would make it myself, it would be that ethical.
I might have to tweak the business plan to slip Harbo a few bob for a favourable review.
I think I would also run foraging seminars out of it.
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Blackberry picking classes €25 per person.
The worst thing is it could work
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I’ll make “small batch” jams that I’ll charge double the price for and premier cru jams.
I just ran your Foraging workshop idea by my hipster friend and he’s eyes lit up.
I suggest a bronze, silver and gold package.
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The Jammy Codger-Where you get sent home with tae in your mug.
On a related note, I was in the Art of Coffee today and saw on their price board that sit in Porridge was €4 and take away Porridge was €3.80. Who the fuck would pay that?
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Who would pay €4 for breakfast? I would.
You’d pay €3.80 for a bit of porridge in a styrofoam tub?
If I’d failed to get breakfast and was on my way to work? Yes.
Go way outta that. You’re just being difficult now.
Yes but here they’d be buying coffee from someone over 65. It’d be like doing local charity work.
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