Textbook
Morning poop already done. Didnāt even make it to 11. Itās off the charts this week.
Fantastic to hear lads are shiteing well.
Has anyone ever trained themselves into a new and reduced shitting pattern and sustained it into the future? As discussed on TFK previously, shitting experts conclude that a normal range is from 1 every 3 days to 3 in a single day aka 1 in 3 to 3 in 1. Iām very much in the 3 in 1 category but Iām looking to cut down by 1 shit per day. Does a simple technique of holding it in and dealing with the stomach rumblings and farts work if you stick resolutely to it?
You make 3 dumps in one day? Really? That canāt be rightā¦
At least 3.
Thatās not right @Bandage. Should have one deposit a day, tops 2 if you had a heavy meal late on the night before. Something up there pal
All that time, energy, paper and water wasted by you, you little cuntā¦ Youāre single handily killing the planet, one little rabbit shit at a time.
Have you gone to a doctor about this? You say 3 shits in a day is normal, it strikes me that there is something wrong with your piping.
Iāve 2 shits done every day by 8.30am, pal.
Diet has to be the issue here. Whatās the consistency of said shites?
@Bandage - can we start by looking at your diet, pleaseā¦ give us your typical day in food there, pal.
A fairly typical day:
6.20am: wake up and take a shit.
6.45am - 7.45am: some form of exercise.
7.45am - 8.15am: muesli or porridge with banana while watching Ireland AM.
8.15am - 8.30am: shit and shower.
9am - 12.30pm: work.
12.30pm - 1.30pm: lunch is usually soup with a slice of brown bread and a hot turkey wrap with lettuce and tomato followed by an Americano.
1.30pm - 5.30pm: work, but Iād need my third shit around 2.30pm when I digest lunch and coffee.
6pm: banana and an Americano while watching Six One.
7pm: dinner (something simple and nutritious like spag bol or waffles and beans)
9pm: tea and some Brazil nuts (tea and two squares of Dairy Milk if it wasnāt Lent).
11pm: bed.
Nothing out of the ordinary thereā¦ tho, and this is just me, iād never, ever have the urge to shit when just out of bed - my digestive system usually has to get up and running before thatā¦ Maybe more fibre might be the answer, palā¦ the cereal section is fine but maybe more fruit throughout the day other than bananas ā¦ apples and pears are good on this frontā¦ do you eat the skin of a kiwi (fruit) when you eat them? also full of fibre.
Can I ask, palā¦ are you stressed? Iām not on about full blown up the walls stress, it could be subconscious or a daily dose of small but constant feeling of stress? this could be a factorā¦ in fact, itās a major factor in our shitting patterns.
Thatās great shiteing bandage.
Itās quite clear you are just rushing the first one. Have you wa. Sorry, exercise first and have a larger more leisurely motion thereafter.
Two become one, as the spice girls might say.
I think the second one at 8.15am needs eliminating. My first shit seems logical to fully clean out my coffee and dinner from the evening before. But I donāt think I should require another one after going for a jog and having some muesli. Iām going to try to change my shitting pattern once and for all from Monday on.
Flattyās proposal sounds better to me but you clearly march to the beat of a different drum to most people where shitting is concerned.
3-4 shites a day is perfectly normal.
What are you justifying yourself to those apes for?
I am shiting as soon as I wake too and have done every single day for 30 years. Itās perfectly normal kid. I canāt imagine not having a clearance to begin the day. Shiting just the once or God forbid less than that every day wouldnāt be for me. Fuck that. These animals are at the stage where when they shit itās out of absolute necessity, there must be huge pressure on them to get it cleared.
Thatās not living.
Jogging opens up the pipes always.