The Constipation thread

savage dose of food poisoning here, i must have shat out 2 stone in the last 6 hours

Iā€™m after doing a fart there that made me flee the room, so noxious was it.

Stung my eyes, it did.

What have you been eating/drinking lately ?

Nothing out of the ordinary. I had some roast beef and scallions in a sesame roll about 2 hours ago.

Iā€™m utterly rank. I canā€™t be around people right now.

Iā€™d be surprised if you even noticed two stone gone off you, a dose of food poisoning could be the makings of ya

The jacks in America are unreal. Savage suction in them

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was only half shitting there for a few days. a bit of a shit in the morning and two or three token efforts throughout the day but none of them were giving me any satisfaction. its an awful way to live. i was ating on the run for a while and not sitting down to home cooked meals and coupled with a few personal issues that have had me tensed up for a while.
iv just cleared it there now. 3 lovely big turds just flowed out of me. like the launch of 3 lifeboats on the way to an emergency, followed by a bit of scutter which was no harm either.
im back to myself again.

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What a wonderful feeling. Iā€™d say the scutter was a disappointing end.

Well, wonders will never cease, @HBV in ā€œfull of shitā€ admission.

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Itā€™s a great feeling. I was in China there lately; I was forcing the issue a bit in the hotel in the mornings to ensure I didnā€™t need to visit a public facility during the day and find myself defecating into a hole in the ground whilst Kung Po Flied Lice and Wing Da Wong Numba parped and puttered away on either side of me. It was pure mousse and there was no satisfaction from it. I held off for a while when I got back home and eventually gave manbirth to an absolute poohemoth, the type of shite that drenches your arse when it hits water. It was glorious.

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I really enjoyed that post

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it can be like an orgasm in your arse

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Tossy knows all about orgasms in his arse.

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Visited the greatest country in the world, specifically the state of Oregon for a few days last weekend. As with all trips to the home of the brave the eating options were far from nutritious or fiber laden, culminating in a stop off in red lobster in Seattle where an overburdened intestine was subjected to extreme punishment. Back in the land of the moose several haphazard and unsatisfactory efforts were passed. I had recently read a book about gut health and the general area so decided to put the situation out of mind, hoping a relaxed state might promote movement. It didnā€™t and I knew there was something inside of me yearning to breathe free. Then yesterday I purchased a cold brew coffee in a stubbie type bottle while consuming a sandwich. That certainly altered the flow of history, and I soon lost a sizeable percentage of my body weight thanks to a smooth propulsion. My general demeanor and outlook on life improved immeasurably for the rest of the day.

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Signing in from LDV Airport Rome. Gone for the number 2 on 2 occasions since I arrived here from the hotel an hour ago but only letting out a few little rabbit pellets. Doesnā€™t inspire confidence.

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Andrews

There is a lad in the trap next to me here in the office and he must be absolutely pebble-dashing the jacks. It sounds like night-time in Tehran in there.

On the other hand, in the time it has taken me to type this up I haven given man-birth to an absolute log, it has slid silently and elegantly out of me.

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This is a great thread

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Iā€™m on a ghost-poo roll at the moment. Great big chunky poos that go down like the Kursk the minute they hit water and require little or no wiping. It is MOST satisfying.

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