The Constipation thread

You’ll be dead by noon

When the hole falls out of your world take this stuff. The world will fall out of your hole

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A few double espressos will sort you right out. You’ll need to be on top of your game going into Giovanni’s Tavern to try and negotiate a screen showing Celtic spud hockey on the same day as the World soccer football final.

Was very blocked up there last week started taking a few Ispaghula Husks; they were the oil change the engine needed

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Brief but petrifying panic there in other-half’s homeplace. A proper log deposited, a wholesome, single-piece discharge with no breaks and requiring minimal wipeage. Hit the flusher and for a few moments it just bobbles at the top like the stern of the Titanic, a terrifying moment that seems to last an eternity as messy images of a complicated poo-extrication flash through my mind. At the last second it sinks like a stone and mercifully out of sight.

I’m ready for the night now. I definitely feel a lot lighter. Tomorrow’s poo will be a squidgier affair I fear.

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Be thankful pal. I had a little party there about a month ago to celebrate my first solid movement in about six months.

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Just pop it into the cistern. Be nice to have that in your locker when things inevitably turn nasty down the road. :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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My flock, I wonder if I can ask your assistance.

Normally, when I go for a moment, I do so with no issues whatsoever. However, these last few days have I have been plagued by stubborn bowels.

Prayers will probably do it. Please. Thanks in advance.

God bless you all.

Change the third vowel in your username to a “u” and an intercession shall occur.

Go in peace.

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A mars bar, a bag of Taytos and a can of coke.

Two cups of coffee and the first book of the lord of the rings.

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Eat some out of date chicken.

They want to shit not die glas

Ah that wouldn’t kill you. Clear you out good.

IDShot_225x225
The best flusher ever

https://www.hydra-bio.com/sewage-lift-station.html

:rollseyes:

4 pints of Guinness cures all bowel obstructions

This came to mind straight away reading that…

https://youtu.be/ZgsVHJp9dJM

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A little blocked myself. Been nearly 48 hours since I’ve emptied.