Itās all Leos fault
Iām not constipated per se, but my bowel regularity has been massively thrown off by a bit of jet lag. Poos are coming thick and fast (figuratively) and with very little warning (literally).
Second ghost poo of the week there.
Iāve been swerving the delis more than usual of late. It just doesnāt seem quite right to be ordering a breakfast roll in these times of carefully-spaced deli queues and protective screens at the counter. My lunchtime meals, therefore, are now consisting of actual foods, like apples and eggs and porridge breads and Supervalu Signature Taste Quinoa, Sugar-Snap Pea & Penaut salads.
This is all having a marvellous effect on my bowels, and though sitting on the throne for 15 minutes while you nurse a log out is both energy sapping and time consuming, in this era of bog-roll shortages it is most satisfactory when paper hits cheek and it comes back clean.
You used to get shit on your arse cheek?
Why in the name of fuck would you even care?
Inner cheek, I guess chocolate starfish really would be more anatomically correct, but it didnāt suit the vibe I was going for.
Since Iāve left the hospital my insides are like an old cement mixer. How do I cure this?
I fear that if I stick my thumb up my hole that will only make things worse.
Iām also on antibiotics, nexium and solphadeine, I dont know if that will change your answers.
Flat 7up and plain vanilla ice cream.
Sendokott tabs. Available in all pharmacies.
Husks of psyllium
The codeine in solpadeine will bring you right up.
This shite is like dark matter. I know itās there but I just havent found it yet.
You need to wait until the white noise starts to give you a clue
Iāve made a poo, but Iāve yet to make the poo
Given the efforts youāve put in lately to save the country, itās no surprise your shit pipe has turned to cement. Weāll get some celebrities to start a #BatitForBati challenge online.
On my second bout of the lockdown (and of the last few years) here. Simon Harris has a lot to answer for.
On a diet of black coffee here cos this needs sorting before work
R.I.P.
Psyllium Husks. Get them into you every day. It changed my life
apples coffee waterā¦ nothing working hereā¦
a couple of false dawns but very unsatisfying.
psylium husks might be bought at lunch timeā¦
#prayforcount