Whoâs rim were you licking?
Either Rockoâs or bandages. Whichever of them was online.
Youâve been very quiet pal. This better be good 
The past two days Iâve had two monster shits each day. One was well up over the water line today - a beast of a thing. If I fished it out and dried it, it would pass for a sod of turf.
Great consistency to them, and Iâm happy that allâs well down below. Sorry to hear @ChocolateMice and @Tassotti have the scour. @Tassotti may have brushed his teeth with a black beautyâs arsehole in Munich, so it could be because of that.
Did you know that today is âWorld toilet dayâ?
1 Like
Isnât that everyday in Poland?
2 Likes
Are lads talking about having the scutters in the fucking constipation thread? FFS sake
Itâs relative- Two days later, no movement.
Two well-oiled movements today. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Feeling great.
2 Likes
After no shite on Tuesday for some reason things have moved on a pace with a monstrous sized one early on Wednesday to make up the deficit, followed by two yesterday, a fine movement this morning, and a second one in progress as I type.
Had the post-Christmas Day shite there lads. Quite a soft consistency, and each time I thought I was finished another good load would come out. I much prefer shitting in American toilets. They are lower to the ground, which places a tall guy like me in a squat position - very conducive to a good evacuation. The pipes are well and truly cleaned out now. How are the rest of you doing? Check in @Tassotti.
2 Likes
I laid quite the executive log this morning. It will test the abilities of the local sewage infrastructure to cope. My hole was well and truly opened to facilitate the expulsion, and it may take a matter of days before it returns to normal aperture.
1 Like
The decent thing to do here would be to contact Irish Waterâs customer care hotline - flag the loaf thatâs heading their way.
Serious log in the makingâŚ
Itâs just on its slow descent now and I certainly got a sprouts smell as the tip hit the airâŚ
2 Likes
Your a gas man choco. Have a good one bud
After a somewhat worrying delay, I achieved an astonishing valsalva manoeuvre last evening.
Hadnât gone since Christmas Eve but, eventually birthed an arse-baby of earthing cable proportions as it contacted the bowl before fully exiting my Nat King.
Regrettably, it occurred in the en-suite, which met with extreme disapproval from Mrs. Kremmen who suggested that a slatted unit may have been more appropriate.
I feel as if I have awoken from a hundred-year slumber.
Continued festive wishes to all forumites.
EBK.
4 Likes
Howâs everyone been going this past week?
Sitting here at one now; very âploppyâ in consistency. Iâd be pushing away, sweat rolling down my forehead, for a huge single plop, roughly the size of a golf ball. This would be followed by a massive backfire, lasting roughly 2-3 seconds, that plasters the ceramic. There then follows a pause followed by another golf ball buildup. Iâd be on about Phase 4 of this sequence now. Fuck me but Iâm hitting the All Bran hard January 3rd.
2 Likes
No problems this week
Chronic diareah here lads.