The marriage difficulties and auld GAA lads from Craobh thread

[FatChops]

@Enrique

You’ve already shown serious levels of resilience. You never know, as everyones situation is different but I would have been out the door long ago if the kids situation were agreed upon. Get your ducks in a row on the legal side, re finance, housing and make sure you’re on firm ground re access to the kids. You sound like a stand up bloke, time to start enjoying yourself again and like the selfishgiant says ditch the GAA. Signed, another internet oddball.

A lot of good advice here. The sentence in bold above cuts to the heart of your next moves, regardless of any emotional development.

• Get a good, experienced family law solicitor.

• Outline precisely your financial position.

• Figure out what a good outcome is for you regarding access. Stick to this in all negotiations.

• Keep a journal of every interaction with her, your solicitor, the estate agents… everything. This will be worth its weight in gold when your children are older.

• Never, ever email or text anything derogatory or inflammatory.

• Do not move out of the family home until you have a deal in place.

You are now looking for certainty. It’s hard found and will be hard fought. Make a plan, stick to it. Make time for yourself. The hardest part of the whole thing is already behind you.

So is everyone on here.

[horriblecunt]

Whatever you decide, staying together for the sake of the kids is a load of wank. While their parents separating would be an initial upheaval to them, and there may even be some initial resentment, in the long run they will respect you more for doing what is best for you and you would be setting an example that one’s own happiness is important.
Now, I’m not saying that you should separate in the morning, just that deciding to stay together till the kids are out of the house is doing nobody any favours and should not be a driving factor in your decision making.
Best of luck, and fair play to you for opening up about it, I can guarantee that most, if not all, lads on here empathize with you and you’re getting plenty of virtual hands on your shoulder.
Situations like this are no one’s fault per se, you decide to fix it (however that may be) and move forward. You’ve only the one life.

[mickee321]

fair play man.
Great post.
it needs a decent reply and I will do that

[Heyyoubehindthebushes]

Life is about enjoyment. Once you have those serious issues boxed off your 90% there. The other 10% is the enjoyment

[Locke]

Always take the high road.

[Johnbird]

Alot of women are closet lesbians that want to keep under the radar,hatch a few a sprogs and look mainstream to family and friends.

Id suggest you have a think about that before you beat yourself up.10 rides in 10 years isn’t normal,brother.

You deserve happiness not misery.Man up and take it for yourself.

[maroonandwhite]

Best of luck mate.

Echoing here but you are entitled to be happy. And staying together in a tense unhappy situation might be more detrimental to the kids, but get some professional advice on that and the situation. And make sure you are protected and have a solid footing. You have an obligation to yourself and to the kids to ensure that. Also you could meet someone new and better far quicker than you think. Bad times now but it won’t always be.

[Enrique]

As a general comment, and yes, I realise this is generalising and doesn’t apply to all before any white knights jump in… I’m married to an Orish woman btw. I’ve worked and lived abroad for many years. I’ve tended to notice Irish women seem to have a serious level of entitlement and delusion when it comes to men and what they ‘deserve’. I’ve numerous friends that are married to non-Irish lasses and when I think back what theit Irish gfs were like and how they treated them… night and day. Again anecdotal but a few friends moved abroad and marriages didn’t last once the guys had their eyes opened beyond Irish women and traditional expectations at home. I know you are possibly a good way from thinking about that but you will meet someone else, 100%.

[blackjack]

Sorry to read about your situation @Sad. No offence but from what you say your wife seems like a complete b1tch.

And deluded into the bargain if she is actually seriously suggesting moving house (presumably to a bigger pad and with a bigger mortgage).

I wish you well in whatever path you choose.

[Bisto]

As me and @mickee321 can attest it’s just a different type of crazy them foreigners bring …
One thing I do agree with you is that a lot of Oirish women do choose a partner more for security and someone they can control as opposed to an equal or somebody they are mad into …before the pile on I’m not saying it’s every one …I know lads who’s women demanded surprise 40s or surprise engagements which is a bit mad…

[Locke]

@Bisto

Oirish women do choose a partner more for security and someone they can control as opposed to an equal or somebody they are mad into

I find myself nodding with agreement to this

[gilgamboa]

@Bisto

One thing I do agree with you is that a lot of Oirish women do choose a partner more for security

As opposed to a visa?? I jest pal

Above is human nature really security above all. Irish women wouldn’t be wild risk takers really

[Fat_Pox]

Look after yourself @Sad. That’s a tough station you’re currently in.

It’s important for couples to make time for each other after getting caught up with kids/work …before it’s too late.

[Heyyoubehindthebushes]

Jesus christ, that may be over the fine line of playing rough considering the women isn’t interested in regular sex. Not cool

[grapes]

Just another opinion.

[mikehunt]

A conviction like that wouldn’t endear him to the family courts you’d imagine.

[balbec]

Apart from the wench that went into the bank vault with you!

[grapes]

What conviction?

[mikehunt]

You’re advising him to commit sexual assault.

[grapes]

Find a bridge and quickly fuck yourself off of it.