If you got divorved, her remarrying is surely the dream scenario? You can go get a new house etc and just be left with the child maintenance?
Christ, a couple of bleak pictures painted with the divorce stories there. I feel lucky now Iāve fuck all for her to take.
(Actually, a couple of those stories have me rattled)
Joint accounts. Although I suspect sheās squirelling away money for a long time. Only some of her paycheck makes it into the joint account. The rest goes to a savings account directly from her employer. Iāve never seen statements of that account. I ask occasionally whatās in it, always a vague answer that seems way too low.
Running away money? You talking squirreling away money that herself doesnāt know about and you donāt disclose when going through the separation? I agree somewhat with the sentiment but if one was to do that now itās almost hedging your bets that something will go wrong
Iām fairly fucking rattled myself now. Never considered any of this.
You and me both. Itās not worth thinking about
Isnāt that why people hedge bets. In case something goes wrong. I get the whole sentiment of why would you get married before if you were going to go in with that mindset. Things change over time. I dont do it personally but when he explained the squirreling away bit it did kind of make sense. If he did he might not have to let a room on Airbnb and listen to to the middle aged couple banging away in the room next door in his downgraded apartment.
The vibe Iām getting is sheās happy to draw a line under it. But Iāll suggest it. Will look into counselling for myself anyway. Maybe I am a monumental prick, would be worthwhile to find that out.
Well that was my point, I can see the sense in putting away money just in case but itās the wrong mindset and potentially too easy of a fall back option if thereās a few bumps in the road.
Either way Iāve enough with the mortgage and bills every month without the luxury of having extra funds to squirrel away isnāt a problem for me!
I think it boils down to 2 choices personally.
A)
Being broke and miserable
B) or being miserable.
Its why every possible reconciliation avenue should be explored and attempt made to work at it. If that doesnt work at least you buy yourself some time to engineer a shawshank like escape.
Lucky bastards
I think youād have a fair idea yourself if that was the case and by the sounds of it your an honorable man
I know a fella with 2 early teen daughters who was breaking up with the wife. He refused to move out of family home. She moved her new fella in and guy I know slept on the couch.
Fucking weird scenario for all involved. Went on like that for a few months until he finally moved out
If you were to take that at face value then no man would ever voluntarily divorce regardless of their misery. Not sure Iād go along with that.
If youāre getting divorced, your solicitor gets full discovery of all her bank accounts and vica versa. This āsquirrelling awayā business is not so easy unless sheās operating in a cash in hand type business and not declaring income.
Neither of them are having any luck for it. They are both stubborn as fuck and the children are being fucked over and weaponized a bit by both sides. Itās horrendous.
Its not really doable for a lot of people to part company. For that reason its not uncommon to see a caravan beside a house used as a makeshift residence.
If she is happy to draw a line under it pal, whatever you do - donāt suggest it first.
Donāt leave the family home and push for counselling for the two of ye together.
You have to be smart on this - you want to make the marriage work for you and the kids etc
Get your ducks in row regarding a top family law solictor in the background.
Apparently this is a regular thing with many women.
In spite of your horrifically nasty post, you are right about one thing. Iāve been a doormat, and she has treated me as such.
Now FOAD you UUCOAM.
I have but there was no property or kids so it was pretty straight forward. You only realise when youāre doing it tho, how wide open you have left yourself.