Sorry for your troubles. Stupid boy.
You can try counselling but unless both parties are fully committed too it, Iād find it very hard to see it helping. If both parties have already checked out again it will be hard. Every single person deserves to be happy and kids are not enough of a reason for you to be unhappy. Itās different if the kids are not being loved or looked after. Get legal advice is a must, too many times the male gets a raw deal as the woman can be bitter. Think of a close friend who you trust and speak to him and get advice. It will help you clear your head. Best of luck.
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Yeah I get that. Its just my own thoughts on it. I guess in most other secular countries they seem to be more accustomed to divorce and it isnāt perceived as taboo as over here so perhaps they handle the fall out better. Its not even in Ireland a generation yet and id say there is still quite a bit of shame attached to it. Maybe there is more equality in other family court systems or maybe thereās not but I have seen many men rode roughshod over here. Even when children are in custody of their father everything or every single move is scrutinised and children interrogated upon return. Perhaps in the fullness of time when kids get older and dust settles does life get back on an even keel again. But there is a fair bit of swallowing the pride and a rough few years for that to happen.
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Well thatās the Catholic Church guilt still permeating Irish society and thinking. Itāll perhaps be another generation before that dissipates. That said, in other countries/societies marriage isnāt taken as seriously, as divorce is all too easy an option
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I had a poor bastard doing work on my house a year ago. I didnāt know him, and he had about 4 daysā work to do. Iād call out the odd time to give him a hand or have a chat. On the second day he told me that he was splitting from the wife, quite the bombshell to drop but he wanted to talk about it. Said the bitch had been having an affair for years behind his back, 3 kids from 12 down to 4. She never worked and he had to leave the house, and he was still paying the mortgage. She also treated the kids like shit (I know, his side of the story). He claimed that she was such a looper that he would get custody of the kids but the family courts kept getting postponed last year with covid. Horrendous situation to be in. Worst part was that he still loves her, and heād taken her back multiple times in the past. Iād have her buried in a boghole.
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Iāve identified a counselling service that does individual and couples counselling. Will arrange an appointment in the morning.
Also found lots of law firms that specialise in family law. They all have 5 stars on Google so must be good 
Anyone know where I can get a good recommendation? Or anyone have a good recommendation? South to mid to east Munster vicinity.
Will also attempt to talk to the lady herself again. Past two days have passed with the elephant in the room being completely ignored. With kids gone back to school, and if I can drag her away from work for a few minutes, weāll see if we can have a conversation.
Really appreciate all the advice and support, thanks lads. Iāll keep ye updated on developments.
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All may not be lost. Doesnāt sound like sheād fancy raising 4 kids on her own.
A shame Kev isnāt about. Heād have some brilliant stories here.
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Oooft! She has going away money chief.
Sorry to hear of the situation @Sad
Donāt really have anything to add but this is definitely one of the more interesting threads Iāve read on here
That is very odd again. Sheās 10 steps ahead of you, youāre in trouble here. She could easily be riding behind your back.
I think you should just look to have an affair. Maybe @Little_Lord_Fauntleroy is right, bang some young wan for a few years until the kids are older and the finances are better.
I dunno about doing that, do things right, be able to look the kids in the eye when theyāre older
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You will have to look into your kidsā eyes at some point down the track and be comfortable knowing youre not lying when you say you tried and exhausted all possible avenues.
āI started knocking birds cos your ma was at itā isnāt the best way of achieving that
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Well obviously donāt get caught
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You have married a woman and she has given you 4 children, thats wonderful. Iām guessing they are in the ages of 9, 7, 4, 2 or thereabouts. I hope they are all healthy. Weāve all been there and its a challenging time, but once the youngest hits about 6 or 7, things get a lot easier.
Itās great that she has a career that she enjoys and seemingly is doing well in. Thats a good thing 
As was pointed out above, its very rare to see a man who got divorced that was the better for it. You have a comfortable lifestyle, a happy home and family, and a wife who is enjoying her work and career.
Create a plan for the future with your wife , and focus on the positives.
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Are you still foolin em har?
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And terrifying.
Still itās good to hear @Brimmer_Bradley is still in the land of the living
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@Sad be careful, I took the nuclear option and left the family home shortly before Covid became news. I saw my youngest this weekend for the 1st time in 10 months. Iām wracked with guilt constantly although I know ultimately I did the right thing. Itās never cut and dried, 23 odd years and I still love the guts of her but the issues and differences are insurmountable in my mind.
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If you Tipp lads would have just married someone from a neighboring parish things would have worked out fine.
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I hope you find happiness whatever way this issue is resolved @sad / whoever regular this is but glad you found somewhere to share the thoughts and emotions you have going through the head right now, best of luck to you.