The official Roman Catholic thread

[Pirlo]

Haha I’d say your man shut up then alright!

[Corksfinedtboy]

He did the bollox

Public house republican

Fr Philips uncle was a volunteer in Belfast
Shot dead
Mothers side

[Corksfinedtboy]

Michael Muhurtaig ( incorrect spelling)
? Remember the one with the long sounding surname

[gaillimhmick]

@Aertel220

@peddlerscross

Archbishop Clifford who used present the Irish Press Cup to the winning All Ireland Minor Hurling Captain (is this still a tradition?) was an absolute Hall of Famer on the Confirmation scene back in the day.

What was the name of the Irish speaking commentator who used to cover the Minor Finals on RTÉ back in the 00’s? He had a very distinctive voice. He had a very memorable way of pronouncing “Aonghus Callinan” , “Richie Hogan” or other such luminaries of that era.

Mícheál “Maidhc” Ó Sé

[TheUlteriorMotive]

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus asks for a table for 26.

The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.”

Jesus says, “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”

[Fat_Pox]

I put a good 4 years into serving mass as a young lad. Not as simple as it looks. Easter was boom time too. We had a young curate who insisted on rehearsals for each cermony during the week (think Kinnerk and his whiteboard). I think in hindsight it was more for him than us. The elderly PP was more of a loose cannon ( Tom Ryan/Babs). Instructions would only be given 30 seconds before showtime. Servers would have to be on point in order to read his cues during mass.

Working the tourable was the big job. Going into the sarcristy 5 mins before it was needed and getting the charcoal lit up. Working the system of chains to open and close it as the priest put the insence in.

As previously said funerals were the big number. It usually was a morning off school and a few quid to be made. Often we were double or triple paid by grieving relatives.

Often during a funeral/wedding an outsider from the grieving/celebrating family would be brought in. They were always treated with ultimate suspision and only giving handy jobs like bringing water to the alter after communion. They’d never get the big jobs like bringing the water/wine, holding the patton, ringing the bell, leading with the cross.

[anon67715551]

Like awarded for the clever use of the popular idiom of the time ‘twine’.

[anon67715551]

The age old chestnut - How many were at the Last Supper?

Freagra: 14 - the 12 apostles, Jesus and the photographer.

[maurice_brown]

@Fat_Pox

As previously said funerals were the big number. It usually was a morning off school and a few quid to be made. Often we were double or triple paid by grieving relatives.

The house stations were great too. A few quid and all you could eat.

[Bod95]

I was an altar boy for 2 years, in my second year I was appointed captain of a group, serious responsibility for an 11 year old, I had to decide who was on communion duties with the paten, ringing the bells, who took the water and wine after consecration etc, it reached its nadir in late September 1985 when the new church in Caherdavin opened and the Bishop Jeremhiah Newman was the main man in attendance, the 6 altar boy captains were the anointed servers that evening, what an iconic @peddlerscross occasion it was, unfortunately with the demographics of the area at the time there were practically no funerals or weddings as most people in the area were on average mid30s raising kids so we didn’t get any cash at all as others would have for those occasions.

[glenshane]

I only ever did altar boy the once, strong armed into the role by a presumptuous priest who must have mistook dullness for devotion…despite my newness i was entrusted with bell duties. A minute or two in i realised that I’d never once paid the slightest heed to any of the countless masses I’d previously, attended (in a civilian capacity).
I incorrectly assumed that my job was to give the bell a shake any time there was a meaningful pause in the action. It was the longest forty-five minutes of my life- desperately looking for cues from the priest or rhe lad on the other side, taking every cough from the congregation as a prompt to either ring the bell or lay off the bell- my arse clenched tight enough to burst the zip on my trousers.
I was desperate for the final whistle. When the priest said “you may go in peace” i gave it one last shake and thanked God as the last dying chimes settled around the chapel.
Then says the priest “you’ll sleep tonight @glenshane”. The place erupted. It literally scarred me for life. I’ve never mentioned it to anyone since.

[Tassotti]

Wedding’s were the big payout when i was in action,it was like hitting the jackpot. 10 punts minimum in 1987 was serious dough, a load of comics and sweets withoads of change left over

[balbec]

I was the captain out in the balbec as well. You’d have pairs of servers, a senior and a junior. Tom Hennessey the goalie was my junior. You’d never let the junior at the bells, they’d learn in the first year by observation. The sacristan Willie Hannon was well in his seventies, he’d have you moving coffins in and out of the mortuary and all. I think the attention to detail I learnt in those days stood to me in later life.

[anon67715551]

I felt as though I was there in the congregation with you all wondering what the fuck was going on.
You can’t say fairer than that.

[anon67715551]

@balbec

The sacristan Willie Hannon was well in his seventies, he’d have you moving coffins in and out of the mortuary and all. I think the attention to detail I learnt in those days stood to me in later life.

You became an undertaker then - I didn’t realise that.

[fenwaypark]

Brilliant

[Tassotti]

What a day to be a Catholic, never been as proud

[KinvarasPassion]

There is something very special happening there.

[Aertel220]

@KinvarasPassion

There is something very special happening there.

There’s a big swing back to the church.

[Tassotti]

The is part 1, God it is umreal, I got caught holy Thursday and it took me 3 hours to get home after the evening processions