The Official TFK Father's Issues Thread. I don't know how they do it

[carryharry]

Weirdo

[Onthesod]

Badge of honour stuff choco…Projectile vomiting is one thing… projectile shiting is equally impressive, far less predictable…

[Gman]

I dont know how you do it.

[anon78624367]

Out for a meal last night with the clan. Went into a shop after to get a few bits and pieces… the small one was looking for an iceberger, I was pushing back as she just had dessert. But my belly’s not big Daddy she says. Like hers… and she points at a huge wan in the queue behind me, in full earshot…

her mother went mental.

[mikehunt]

[anon61878697]

Calling it like it is…no need to scold the child for being honest, she doesn’t know any different… The nephew said something similar about a chap with a arm/hand disability, in the middle of a shop he belts out…That man has a really small hand… Your man just laughed and said ‘I do’… It’s us adults have it all wrong, not kids.

[tallback]

@anon61878697

A rough night…no settling her… She kept feeding, relentless… Then wind issues… Flying through nappies then, at one stage I was in the middle of wiping her clean and she let go another on my hand. I let her sleep on my chest for a bit and she finally settled. I let mammy sleep through it all…and I’ve Brady now on my lap looking up at me for his walk. Tis all go.

The latest thing my lad (7 months) likes to do when you pull the nappy off is go to play with his willy. All grand unless its a big dirty nappy at which point he’s now got a hand full of shit which he waves around everywhere while you’re still trying to deal with the original mess.

Keeps you on your toes.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@tallback

@anon61878697

A rough night…no settling her… She kept feeding, relentless… Then wind issues… Flying through nappies then, at one stage I was in the middle of wiping her clean and she let go another on my hand. I let her sleep on my chest for a bit and she finally settled. I let mammy sleep through it all…and I’ve Brady now on my lap looking up at me for his walk. Tis all go.

The latest thing my lad (7 months) likes to do when you pull the nappy off is go to play with his willy. All grand unless its a big dirty nappy at which point he’s now got a hand full of shit which he waves around everywhere while you’re still trying to deal with the original mess.

Keeps you on your toes.

I don’t know how ye do it in fairness lads

[anon61878697]

…

[glenshane]

@tallback

The latest thing my lad (7 months) likes to do when you pull the nappy off is go to play with his willy. All grand unless its a big dirty nappy at which point he’s now got a hand full of shit which he waves around everywhere while you’re still trying to deal with the original mess

He didn’t lift it off the hedge

[anon78624367]

mate of mine was changing his youngfellas nappy, he thought the balls looked a bit red so he went in for a closer look, lifted the sack and the youngfella shit in his mouth. Projectile stuff.

[Elvis_Brandenberg_Kr]

Thank God 'tis all behind me, until the Grandchildren at least. When that happens, their parents can fuck off and paddle their own canoe.

[anon78624367]

don’t you know now that won’t be the case. You’ll get to spoil them, teach them bad words, fill them up with sugar and sent them back to the parents wired.

[Elvis_Brandenberg_Kr]

@anon78624367

don’t you know now that won’t be the case. You’ll get to spoof them, teach them odd words, fill them up with sarcasm and sent them back to the parents weird.

Fixed that for you!

Last year I was going in the gate of Kilmallock to a club game and our friend with the fang from Garryspillane was on the gate and giving grief to the punter in front of me. The young fella was with me and, after we entered, looked up at me at simply observed “what an asshole” It was all I could do to try give out to him for using that language whilst choking back the laughter.

[Bandage]

@tallback

The latest thing my lad (7 months) likes to do when you pull the nappy off is go to play with his willy. All grand unless its a big dirty nappy at which point he’s now got a hand full of shit which he waves around everywhere while you’re still trying to deal with the original mess.

Keeps you on your toes.

I overcame this issue by always having a couple of stacking cups or blocks of LEGO by the change mat. Hand these props to him as you’re completing the nappy change and he’ll either play with them or be distracted for long enough before flinging them away. This should allow you to clean the mess before he thinks of putting his hands on his shitty balls.

I know that’s how I did it in fairness (cc @Fagan_ODowd).

[mikehunt]

Distraction is the only successful weapon against them.

[iron_mike]

Back to school tomorrow

[Dubhub]

Up the fatherhood

[gilgamboa]

@anon61878697

If we ever get pregnant I certainly will ---- I find it bizarre here that lads are giving it the big one about doing nothing and being able to stay in bed – if you didnt want kids, why bother ?

Any update on this pre fatherhood stance kid

[anon7035031]

He’s busy fighting off mastitis.