The Pretend Fitness Thread

Happy to give that number 10👏

You’ll be racing against me, which is akin to not racing

Just did a 5km run in 29:35 after 16 (sixteen) days without exercise. I had to walk for around 400m in the middle.

How long it take me to get back to rapid sub 25-minute 5km runs?

cc @ChocolateMice, @flattythehurdler.

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In your case, about 3 months.

On average, about 3/4 runs.

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Did 24:26 for a 5km race last night.

I expect to go well under 24 minutes in another one next week.

Not bad for a slow cunt.

So you did a 4.6km run. Good time mate. Fitness disappears about 500% quicker than it returns

@caoimhaoin, osteopaths yay or nay?

It depends on them and it depends on the clients.

Cranial for highly strung people who are channelling stress thru back or neck or something. Anxiety etc

Athletes/farmers/working people - the more muscoskeletal physical manipulation guys can work well.

Just lazy fuckers sitting in offices should stay away from them. Thats what i call “get off your ass pain or dysfunction”. They do not need a theraputic intervention. They need some home truths and exercise.

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Did not realise you knew me!!!

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Signing back into this thread. I’m on week six of a two a week commitment to attending the gym. I’m only doing bike as warm up (15-20mins) and then treadmill for either 5km run or interval sprints on the treadmill. Anyway i was in the gym this evening and there was a chap in there with a tracksuit pants on and a peaked cap! He was only a young enough chap early 30s i would say and was walking with an incline on his treadmill. Odd behaviour all round i thought.

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Is that meant to be early 20’s? Very strange behaviour if it was a man in his 30’s

He was late twenties to 30 odd i would say.

First run in yonks - Havent done any form of exercise since before my short vacation a couple of weeks back and it must be some months since I was out for a jog. Within a couple of minutes both knees were fucking killing me and I thought I’d have to stop at one stage but kept going and the pain subsided… My fucking heel kicked in then… i’ve been having a horrible pain in my heel after football lately but I thought the rest might see it off…but it too dissipated after a brief time and it’s fine now. Took me about 30 mins to do 6k… it’s a start.

cc @Bandage

This happened a friend of mine a few years ago, playing football too. Went up for a header and when he landed he got a sharp pain in his heel. For weeks after every step he took was painful. Had MRI and showed up bruising in the heel bone and the cure was to get an injection into the heel. The needle was about six inches long and he claims it was the most painful dose ever. You poor cunt…

Stick a bottle of water in freezer. 750ml. Let the bottle freeze and start rolling your foot on it. Do some ankle mobility exercises. Give it a week and try something like a 2km jog on it.

No, he needs an injection into the heel bone.

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I’ve had this done. Its sore, it works, its lasts about 5 years.

Can he not just stick his thumb up his hole and see will that fix it?

He might enjoy it, but it will do fuck all for his heel.

I think you’re understating the pain here. It’s horrendous.