The Pretend Fitness Thread

horse riding.

Apart from hollowed out bread rolls and the likes can someone give me something good to eat before going to gym. I do the likes of push ups, pull ups etc and the bike and cross trainer yoke. Absolutely fucked today halfway through cos had only ate a bowl of cereal before going. Would drinking a lucozade sport or similar be worth it?

Bananas are great before a workout I feel, good energy boost and light. Those lucozade drinks are’nt worth a wank… plenty of water. You could also have half a milk flavoured drink, strawberry, chocolate etc with your banana. I wouldnt drink too much as it would leave you feeling full, drink maybe 30/20mins before… they are full of carbs and protien and you could finish it off after workout to restore levels afterwards.

you won’t go too far wrong following CM’s advice.
fruit is a great souce of energy, doesn’t take long for the body to digest (unlike carbs, like cereals, bread, pasta)
i usually dilute any isotonic drinks like lucozade sport, easier on the stomach, won’t dehydrate you and tastes a bit better.

after the workout is done, protein (meat, nuts) to repair muscle and tissue damage and carbs if you’re still hungry.
and obviously rehydration afterward is absolutely vital.

kev will be along in a minute with a 2,000 word paean to sport science, should see you right. :wink:

Smart ass, all he needs to do is read this and a few related threads.

Bananas don’t agree with me for some reason. Would be nearly regurgitating them if I ate them before excercise. Thanks for that otherwise though, might try those milk drinks. Any other bars or cereals that would have carbohydrates and be easy on the stomach an hour or so before? Literally felt like I was running on empty there today.
Kev, don’t be bullied into not posting this type of shit is what you were put on God’s green earth for!

Me bullied? Jesus gola, you need to read more of my literature. :smiley:

I just couldn’t be bothered, played championship tonight and i’m fucking broken up. Really came in for a read, but ended up responding to you 3 times now you cunt. :smiley:

Get back to me on the food thing.

Also, have made up my own little routine for the gym. ten mins on x trainer to warm up - 3 pull ups and 3 dips (x5) - ten press ups, ten squats, that ‘plank’ thing for a minute (x3) - cycle slow for 1 min, fast as I can for 45 secs (x 5) - repeat press up circuit yoke - run 45 secs on treadmill fast as I can up round 20 speed rest 1 min (x5).
Any good for gettin fit for playing footballl or am I doing too little/wasting my time?

Gola , you hideous cunt,
well, for a start i never got to play championship tonight as my transfer never went through so as im not broken up so ill try and divulge what i do.
i usually train in the evenings around 8 or so, at about six, id usually have 4-5 weetabix with milk and a cup of very strong coffee ive brewed myself, its arabic coffee i imported and is like rocket fuel,
it dosent like aid muscle growth or anything just wakes me right up, i find the weetabix great or a bowl of porridge.
guys like michael phelps have huge caffeine intake when training, obviously it can act as a deuretic so u need to keep drinking water also.

i find the supplement drinks great as well,at the moment im using maximuscle cyclone that contains creatine and beta ecdestyrone that i usually drink about five in the evening, i find this great for the energy needs and is light also, i know people say they are expesive and you can find the ingredients naturally in your local store but im tooo lazy to cook.
mazimuscle have great products tailored for different needs and id recccomend checking out their website.
ive abandonded playing team sports id say for good and am currently training with an athletic club following a 400m runner program, i dont compete anymore like in uni, this is just for the crack now but these lads are big into the maximuscle products as is that hot british bird who won the gold medal doing the luge or some shit in teh winter olympics.

as an aside, the ould gym on your own is hard going,
i need a group to excercise with, even if im in the gym lifting weights id always try and fall in with someone or get banter / mild conversation going as the solitude in a gym when the energy levels are flagging is not conjusive to excrcise and motivation

http://www.holabirdsports.com/products/Mizuno-Wave-Creation-9-Men-043370.jpg

I bought a pair of these bitches in Chicago last year after getting free gait analysis, I have done a few half marathons in them and find them fierce comfortable. I swithed from Asics as I found I was getting shin splints from time to time. $160 Dolla.

I’m sure the likes of Amphibian King in Bray would stock them. Get gait analysis done if possible.

amphibin king is the business

im under 16 stone for the first time in about 6 years…ironic really considering i haven’t played football or trained with a team in over a year…spent the last 8 months building up my knee…do light weights now more for toning…a lot of running on the threadmill
and on grass…excercise bike etc…not into a lot of the powder protein or creatine as it bulks you up and just turns to fat when you stop for a while…i prefer to neck 2 or 3 tabs of carnetine before i train…really helps lose the weight and gives you a lot of energy too…

scumpot, you sound like a man in horrendous physical conditon…

great advice been given out here tho, fellas popping Carnetine !! , taking beta ecdestyrone and creatine, this is what an East German swimming forum must have been like in the 1970’s

how tall re y scumpot? 6 4?

:smiley: 6 2…i’m big boned… :stuck_out_tongue:

Thats excellent cross training Gola, you have this figured out. Are you coming back to sport, and are you trying to lose weight?

If you are loosing weight or not it doesn’t matter, but those kind of circuits are perfect. Using large muscle groups is not only good for loosing weight(stay away from isolation exercises like bicep curls, or any machine weights, waste of time) , its good for GAA sports. I’d possible add in a kettlebell swing in as well, you’d need a small bit more work on the legs, to keep it balanced. The power you need for sprinting comes from the hamstrings and hips. Put it inbetween the dips and the press ups, i’d use a moderately heavy bell, 4-6 times.

Are you playing now? Really the time for strength and power training is Jan-Mar, and then just maintain over the season if your into it.

Mickees advice on the porridge and strong coffee if good advice. Have used espresso myself the odd time. I eat those Kelloggs wheat small square packs thingys, i find them good, but i can’t eat much for 4-5 hours before training/game, but thats just my metabolism, everyone is different.

I disagree with the maxi muscle stuff though, nobody knows what the long term affects are yet. I don’t feel like getting teenage spots at my age either. :smiley:

Mickee, whats a normal 400m night involve, fartlek training?

yeah kev fartlek ( some swedish term i believe) training is a big feature of 400m training all right.
tonight for example after a brief warm up ( 15 min jog and dynamic stretching) we did an 8 lap fartlek session involving 80% effort on the straights and back down to a slow jog on the bends, that is very tough going.
we also do a lot of pyramid sessions, i.e. sprint 60m, jog 60m, sprint 100m, jog 100m, then follow up 200m, 400m and then do the whole lot in reverse.
there is always a hill session thrown once a week, i.e, sprinting up a hill ( 60-80m) and job back down 10-15 times.

we do that stuff in the evenings plus everyone has their own weights program that is done at their leisure, you are focusing on core, lower back is very importanst so plenty of good morning excercises, deadlifts, back extensions, sit ups and then obviously work on the legs for example squats, and endless burpees.

i agree on the effects of beta ecdestyrone been not fully understood, maximuscle claim that they derive it from a plant and it is not created sythetically in a lab.
beta ecdystyrone is an anabolic steroid in reality but as they say it is produced naturally then it cannot be banned.
my GP told me that the levels of it in one maximusle were not to be a cause of concern, but i suppose the real fesr with all these things is that your body will stop producing its natural level of this and when u stop using ur system will crash.
i use it six weeks on / six off BUT again there is no way of knowing if that is correct,

i started training very hard in march and my body weight was about 62kg, now im up to about 68kg and i feel a lot more powerful, i would definitly attribute this to the maximuscle usage.
the only nagging side effect i get is a pain in my kidneys as i must have difficulty breaking down the creatine in it i reckon

Are you a very slim build Mickee? 62 Kg is light welter weight in boxing, if not lighter.

Anyway, your well informed on the creatine stuff, good idea talking to a doc.

By the way, it ain’t the creatine thats got you up 6kg, its the training.

Maybe its a patience thing, but i try to use fruits, smoothies etc for recovery. And steak, especially after weights, it unbeatable IMO.

I love that Fartlek training, wouldn’t be at that level as i’d be on the pitch 2-3 times a week, so i tend to do one shorter night on a track, around 25-30 minutes. Do those laps you were doing, sprint the length, but i walk the bend. Will do up to 8, but not week of a match, sometimes just do 4 and some plyometrics. Do it on my own mostly though, thats a drawback.

Anytime i’ve seen an athletics coach get involved with a GAA team, the benefits have been very obvious, those guys really know their shit,and are incredibly passionate about it too.

excuse my ignorance for butting in here lads but what the story with the rest thing for someone who cant always sit on his hole and rest, something might come up after training and off I go and I don’t mean sitting above on a tractor as shannonsider will attest to some breeds of cattle aren’t as quite as others so it can involve running and walking a lot

As for the eating I find good lean homemade burgers, potatoes and broccoli as good as any but I hate eating late at night as I did tonight, I find full dairy very good as I am not one for any supplements

prepare some pasta and tuna the night before. ive started to throw in some cheese (tho feta cheese would probably be better), red onion and capsicum along with mayonnaise. it tends to give me a good bit of energy before training anyway. if im really stuck will have a protein shake an hour before. tends to give a good bit of energy for soccer.

you back in cork mickee? im taking some protein shake shit. tastes good. there aint no creatine in it but lord knows what shite is in it in truth. went into one of them supplement stores and your man told me it was the business. I’ve been taking flax seed tablets too - its supposed to be good but who knows. i always find it a bit weird when lads in tank tops coming up talking to ya in a gym. granted most of them are sound but a lot of posing going on too.

Ive been trying that rippetoe program for the last while. Just squats, deadlifts, benchpress, shoulder press and a powerclean type of one but I lift it over my head. Getting a bit sick of it. Was going great on the squats for a while but my hips have been very tight lately. have booked in a session with a trainer next week to see if my form is right. I have kind of an octopus frame - 6ft 2 and about 13.5 stone at the mo - long everywhere - legs, arms, willy etc. My weight tends to flunctuate . was a bit nearer the 14st mark when I first arrived but I lost a good stone and a half in the first 6 weeks. Was doing a bit of running but nothing wild. think it was just the heat. my core strength is pretty shite. have had lower back problems for a couple of years. any views bar suicide?

oh yeah, hot yoga last night how did I forget. serious women at it. the instructor was cracking. Sweated a lot. Thought it was pretty good.