Farmer wondering what I look like. Thats not even on the same radar as being wrong.
I didn’t…
Pissing into one of those sink type urinals and discovering mid-stream that it’s blocked. This results in the most painful act of stopping mid-stream and being in a compromising position with your dick in your hand while you shift over to the next urinal, or else the urinal will overflow and you’ll end up with piss on your shoes. No fun at all!
Having a dump only to realise that the toilet aint flushing at all…
Happened to me earlier today
[quote=“farmerinthecity”]Having a dump only to realise that the toilet aint flushing at all…
Happened to me earlier today[/quote]
Alright Jugs what’s the story?
Public or private toilet Farmer? I couldn’t give a shite if it happened to me in a public toilet.
Bandage being in charge of the forum while wrocko is away!
[quote=“BenShermin”]Alright Jugs what’s the story?
Public or private toilet Farmer? I couldn’t give a shite if it happened to me in a public toilet.[/quote]
You mean you could give a shite if it was public. http://www.thefreekick.com/vbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif
[quote=“farmerinthecity”]Having a dump only to realise that the toilet aint flushing at all…
Happened to me earlier today[/quote]
What farmer neglected to say there was that it was a toilet in a workplace and there were only four other people there. Wouldn’t take a genius to figure who did it.
Another one, three lads eating out of the one salad bowl in a bar/restaurant, witnessed last night in the Market Bar.
Simple solution to most blockages, bin liner or 5 on the hand and start fishing, disgusting, but worth a shot before calling the plumber.
[quote=“briantinnion”]What farmer neglected to say there was that it was a toilet in a workplace and there were only four other people there. Wouldn’t take a genius to figure who did it.
Another one, three lads eating out of the one salad bowl in a bar/restaurant, witnessed last night in the Market Bar.[/quote]
Lads eating a salad at all in an eatery is wrong, what you witnessed is disgusting, the barman should have asked them to leave.
all homos down there
which market bar
[quote=“Jugs”]Walking home along the canal friday night i saw this random bloke ahead - fairly well dressed and appeared (through my drunken vision) to be normal enough and i assumed he was wandering around looking for a brazzer. As soon as he saw me stumbling along he came towards me and i assumed he was going to ask me where to find the brazzers (if he can’t spot those beastly skanks then he must be very drunk, i thought).
Just as he was 2 yards away from me he goes “hey, fancy a blow job mate?”
Now his face was deadpan so i knew he wasn’t joking. Unfookingbelievable. Didn’t even ask me my name, didn’t want to get to know me, just wanted to suck my cock (possibly in return for payment). Now i know i’m a bit of a dish but moving that quickly is taking the piss.
My response was, in a rather aggressive tone, “WHAT the fook did you say to me?” and yer man toddled off. I walked on about 20 yards and turned around to check if he was following me (fingers crossed he was) and he was still milling around the same area waiting for his next shot at an early morning organic hot dog. What kind of sickos are there in this country?
Feel free to pm me for the exact location and time if you want to see if he’s there next week.[/quote]
I don’t think we’ve spoken about this enough. Apparently the events actually did happen in the sequence Jugs describes except he neglected to mention that he gratefully accepted the blowie down that side street beside The Mespill Hotel. Sicko.
Was watching the junior singles Wimbledon final on Saturday with cesc4.
Anyway, that 14-year old English girl was playing and the conversation went something like this.
Me: You can see her knickers when she’s waiting to return serve.
cesc4: You sicko.
Me: I was just making a statement of fact.
cesc4: She’s only 14 you sicko. I can’t believe you said that. And she’s probably wearing one of those knickers with little love hearts or something on it like 14-year olds wear.
Me: What the fook.
cesc4: What?
Me: How the fook do you know what type of knickers 14-year olds wear? Sicko.
cesc4: Great shot.
Me: Good game so far isn’t it?
Grown men using skateboards. One of the coonts nearly bowled me over coming out of the shop today. You have legs so walk you fooking faggot.
Coughing up luggers first thing in the morn and spitting them into the sink and leaving them there!!!
The dirty bastard that i live with constantly does this and i walk in to see this manky brown and green thing in the sink…
I am currently looking for new digs…
[quote=“ChocolateMice”]Coughing up luggers first thing in the morn and spitting them into the sink and leaving them there!!!
The dirty bastard that i live with constantly does this and i walk in to see this manky brown and green thing in the sink…
I am currently looking for new digs…[/quote]
Does he delf in the aul snuff CM?
[quote=“Jugs”]Walking home along the canal friday night i saw this random bloke ahead - fairly well dressed and appeared (through my drunken vision) to be normal enough and i assumed he was wandering around looking for a brazzer. As soon as he saw me stumbling along he came towards me and i assumed he was going to ask me where to find the brazzers (if he can’t spot those beastly skanks then he must be very drunk, i thought).
Just as he was 2 yards away from me he goes “hey, fancy a blow job mate?”
Now his face was deadpan so i knew he wasn’t joking. Unfookingbelievable. Didn’t even ask me my name, didn’t want to get to know me, just wanted to suck my cock (possibly in return for payment). Now i know i’m a bit of a dish but moving that quickly is taking the piss.
My response was, in a rather aggressive tone, “WHAT the fook did you say to me?” and yer man toddled off. I walked on about 20 yards and turned around to check if he was following me (fingers crossed he was) and he was still milling around the same area waiting for his next shot at an early morning organic hot dog. What kind of sickos are there in this country?
Feel free to pm me for the exact location and time if you want to see if he’s there next week.[/quote]
very wrong and one of the funniest things i have read on the interweb…
Yeah something like that… rizzla’s would be involved…
I’ve a problem with young lads on skateboards too, simply because none of them can fooking do any tricks. They seem to spend all day every day practising and none of them land a fooking thing. Knobs.
I also loathe goths. They try so hard to be different yet they’re all the same. Fools. Where’s my Irn Bru?