Toilet Etiquette at Work

[artfoley]

@LionelRitchie

A pal worked in a place years back in an office that had a single communal toilet. This deviant pal noticed the good looking bird in the office would go to toilet same time every day. She was clearly only urinating he said as she was in and out in little time.

Said troubled amigo then relayed, with clear pride at what he saw as ingenuity, his new daily course of action. A couple minutes before her daily dash, he’d make use of said lavatory. He’d remove a number of pieces of bogroll. He’d then take the next half dozen or so and rub them about his knob. He would then return the sullied ones into the dispenser first. He then returns the intially taken and still perfectly folded and uncrinkled ones before returning to his desk. Why these deeds?

First thing most do upon entering a toilet beyond a home is wipe down the seat. They may also use a piece or two on the handle. A lady then sets about her business which, upon completion, takes a few more sheets from dispenser before giving her undercarriage a pat down with them. Likely more than the one used here, probably a couple.

This sick puppy would sit at his desk peering towards the toilet and take enjoyment, a thrill even if say, knowing she was in there, wiping herself with the pieces he saw now as an extension of his knob meeting her flange.

did you work with @Funtime ?

[LionelRitchie]

What prompts you to ask?

[myboyblue]

@PhattPike

@myboyblue

@LionelRitchie

A pal worked in a place years back in an office that had a single communal toilet. This deviant pal noticed the good looking bird in the office would go to toilet same time every day. She was clearly only urinating he said as she was in and out in little time.

Said troubled amigo then relayed, with clear pride at what he saw as ingenuity, his new daily course of action. A couple minutes before her daily dash, he’d make use of said lavatory. He’d remove a number of pieces of bogroll. He’d then take the next half dozen or so and rub them about his knob. He would then return the sullied ones into the dispenser first. He then returns the intially taken and still perfectly folded and uncrinkled ones before returning to his desk. Why these deeds?

First thing most do upon entering a toilet beyond a home is wipe down the seat. They may also use a piece or two on the handle. A lady then sets about her business which, upon completion, takes a few more sheets from dispenser before giving her undercarriage a pat down with them. Likely more than the one used here, probably a couple.

This sick puppy would sit at his desk peering towards the toilet and take enjoyment, a thrill even if say, knowing she was in there, wiping herself with the pieces he saw now as an extension of his knob meeting her flange.

This must be saved somewhere for posterity. Lionel is a quare deviant.

It’s one of the most extraordinary posts I’ve ever read on TFK.

I’m utterly flabbergasted still.

[tazdedub]

Holy shit someone liked the post.

[Batigol]

Jesus Christ this @LionelRitchie chap is a scary fucker

[FlakeAway]

@TheUlteriorMotive

Don’t worry, I’ve passed his details onto the authorities earlier this morning.

[myboyblue]

@FlakeAway

@TheUlteriorMotive

Don’t worry, I’ve passed his details onto the authorities earlier this morning.

Did you give them his facebook page too?

[FlakeAway]

Everything mate.

[artfoley]

@LionelRitchie

What prompts you to ask?

The deviant behaviour of your colleague

[LionelRitchie]

I didn’t work at this place. This story was recounted by the guy from his own workplace.

Mind you, that’s some statement on funtimes that they’d come.to your mind off the back of that depraved anecdote…

[StoneCold]

As a consultant moving between offices in various sectors, I have noticed a disturbing trend of nasal contents being deposited on cubicle sidewalls.

[mikehunt]

Edit that before they go to town on what you do for a living.

[StoneCold]

IT consultancy is an embarrassing profession alright

[caulifloweredneanderthal]

When I was in second year of secondary school , there were two lads who used to run to the jacks at the same time every day to have a pissing contest. Essentially which one could aim the highest. The (golden) aim was to hit the ceiling.

The entries on this thread over the last couple of days by ‘aquaintances’ of forumites is vastly more juvenile than what those two 14 years old did back in 1995/96. And of those 14 year olds turned out to be a proper deviant (his name appeared on this forum last year in a sexual assault case)

[TheUlteriorMotive]

We did that in primary school. Low enough roof in the toilets and we hit the ceiling one day and got covered in Piss.

[anon78624367]

The royal we, as in you and your mickey

[binkybarnes]

Our school had the cubicle doors with the one ft gap between the floor and bottom of the door. Just above the gap on the inside door a smart ass graffiti artist wrote “Beware of gay limbo dancers”.

[Batigol]

It’s become a real issue lately. I’d have to have a team meeting on this very issue recently

[mikehunt]

Has anyone picked their jobby up and thrown it over at their mate in the next cubicle?

[anon78624367]

You fucking sick bastard.