Probably a go getter who loved his Beroccas.
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We have staff toilets but there are also more public ones in my workplace that you don’t want to go near. There are two problems with the staff ones, however:
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it is a two-berth cubicle set up (no urinal), so you are treated to a cacophony of noises if someone is sitting in the other trap. One chap is having a particularly explosive trip every time I happen to sync up with him. I’ve ascertained that it may be a colleague of mine who is actually married to our boss.
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It is in very close proximity to the photocopier/ printer, which usually has colleagues (male and female) at. I mean the copier is basically outside the door. So, you have to try and tone down the noise, and you’d be wary as you come out after a particularly lengthy trip if the same person has been outside the door all the time.
Having said all that, I usually make a big trip there every morning.
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I was at a funeral recently and the church was very well attended. We gave him an almighty send off the night before, one of the best nights of loose stories and general bonhomie, involving copious amounts of drinking.
I was in bad shape in the church, really needed to sort myself out. I had a seat thankfully but was compelled to find a jacks. It was in the entrance hall which was rammed as it was desperate weather outside. I slowly made my way through the crowd and slipped into position. The silence outside was deafening - I could hear people sniffling and shuffling their feet.
So there I was, hovering, desperate to explode but conscious it would be prolonged, erratic and memorable for lots of people, myself included, for all the wrong reasons.
And then, as if by divine intervention, that awful high volume, high frequency sound you hear when you power up a microphone during silence… READY… The priest started singing… STEADY… The congregation chimed in with the response… WHOOSH!
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Bro was looking down on you
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I always find that the disabled toilet is always your best bet in the office. Seldom used, always clean, typically nice and spacious. A nice little oasis to have a dump and scroll
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I suppose you park in disabled parking spots also?
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You have to do your best Keyser Söze impersonation on exit then, dragging an auld cleft foot along the ground
The folks have a badge for various reasons. My sister calls it the “badge of shame”
"I prefer to think of it as “the badge of opportunity” says hopper.
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Mrs J had to stop me going after a woman in her 50s the other day. Threw the merc into a handicapped space down the pier in howth and strolled into aqua for lunch…
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He’s some bucko. I’d say he’s absolutely thriving in Galway
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My auld lad fucked a load of women out of it one day over it. They’d parked in the disabled spot at a Garda station
He loves it. He loves that people are nice.
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You need to be careful. She may have been picking up her disabled husband.
If she didn’t display the disabled disk you can have a go at her alright. A proper go…
No disabled card. Mama J spent her last year or so in a wheelchair. It’d open your eyes to the outrageous levels of cuntery people get up to. Mostly they just dont think about it but sometimes you know it’s just cuntishness.
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You simply say the cleaner was cleaning the men’s jacks when you went in
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'How dare you, i had to change my colostomy bag" another winning line
Find the department that is mainly female, usually HR or morkoting and you will find the mecca of latrines. Stay away from latrines located close to the IT department.
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Until you hear tyres on tiles. Then you have to stick or twist.
I’d to wheel the aul lad into his most recent hospital appointment. They have wheelchairs in Mater car park you can take out like shopping trolleys. No foot rest so he had to hold the feet up like a young lad on a toboggan. That was a Tuesday.
By Thursday he was back on the feet and out mowing the lawn.
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Did you drop him home after?
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A bit of divine intervention from beyond to help you out ! He would have had a chuckle at you in trouble on the bowl.
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