I see you’ve read the The European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board handbook also, the scribble section towards the back is excellent for wiping your arse with.
Got in from work at 2.30am there and proceeded to have one of my most disturbing dumps ever. It consisted of at least forty malteser size currents, each one was hard as a brick(or at least felt like it coming out). It took me about 15minutes to get them all outa me. I was expecting to have a swissroll type one piece log as I ate two dinners today so this was an unpleasant surprise and totally ruined my shiting experience. I had purposely not bothered going at work as I wanted to have a comfort shite in peace for a change.
Like a rabbit or a deer? Tbat doesn’t sound healthy. Personally I tend to enjoy unusual shits. I remember the first time I had one of the liquidy ones that sit on top of the water the way all that can be seen is soft, liquidy, sand coloured slightly less dense than water shit. A beautiful experience the first time.
Just after having my post christmas shite, it was like a tug of war rope I had to sit up to get the bugger to fall fully out of my arse.
Got caught short recently, had to take a mcshit. Popped into the bog. Bowl was a fucking disgrace, piss all over the seat. Tidied up the seat as best I could, fired down a load of toilet roll and sat down to do the business. Had done a few serious days on the stout over last week or so, so it wasn’t a pretty afair. Eventually I finished up, tidied up the disaster area as best I could and went to flush. Nothing. Went again, nothing. Now bear in mind this wasn’t just one one or two wipes, I had to make a fuckload of passes to get the job done, so the bowl wasn’t pretty on the hole. Fixed meself up, and opened the door, thanks be to fuck there was no one outside waiting to use it. Went to the counter, grabbed a milkshake, paid up and got the fuck out of there. God help the next person that walked into that cubicle.
You can’t beat pumping out a few Mcnuggets and then leaving the scene of the crime. This is even better if one had not purchased any food in the establishment and just left them a present for free.
This story reminds me of something I that I was confronted with one afternoon in September 2002. I was walking out to one of these student careers exhibitions in the RDS and needed a piss, and as it’s a good walk out there I decided I’d pop into McDonald’s at the bottom of Grafton Street. It was the last time I ever ventured into the downstairs toilets as they were shut down not long afterwards in favour of the new faux marble effect counter ones upstairs, and it was to be a fateful visit.
I descended the steps and saw that one of the two urinals was being occupied so decided on the privacy of a cubicle, one of which was full. The other one had the door slightly ajar and lokked unoccupied so I pushed it in with my foot, as you do. What I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life. The three tiled walls of the cubicle were literally covered from top to bottom in dripping excrement.
I let out a roar of anguish, the feeling of nausea suddenly overpowering me. The person in the next cubicle started laughing loudly, having clearly seen it a few moments earlier. That that person opted to simply do their business in the next cubicle over, aware of what was lurking only a matter of inches away from them, speaks volumes.
The sheer amount of shite on the walls could only have been produced by a minimum of at least seven or eight people and I can only guess that it had been placed there via some kind of suction hose used by the cleaners, some kind of portable version of the one on the truck driven by Tom in Father Ted which once drenched Ted and Dougal. Whoever committed the act had probably just been sacked. After remaining rooted to the spot for about five or six seconds due to being completely startled by the sight in front of me, I ran back up the stairs and out the front door, still with a full bladder and with a new urge to get home for a shower as quickly as possible, despite being lucky enough not to touch any of the offending material.
I didn’t venture into that McDonald’s for at least eighteen months afterwards, and thankfully those toilets had been shut down by then.
[quote=“sid waddell”]This story reminds me of something I that I was confronted with one afternoon in September 2002. I was walking out to one of these student careers exhibitions in the RDS and needed a piss, and as it’s a good walk out there I decided I’d pop into McDonald’s at the bottom of Grafton Street. It was the last time I ever ventured into the downstairs toilets as they were shut down not long afterwards in favour of the new faux marble effect counter ones upstairs, and it was to be a fateful visit.
I descended the steps and saw that one of the two urinals was being occupied so decided on the privacy of a cubicle, one of which was full. The other one had the door slightly ajar and lokked unoccupied so I pushed it in with my foot, as you do. What I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life. The three tiled walls of the cubicle were literally covered from top to bottom in dripping excrement.
I let out a roar of anguish, the feeling of nausea suddenly overpowering me. The person in the next cubicle started laughing loudly, having clearly seen it a few moments earlier. That that person opted to simply do their business in the next cubicle over, aware of what was lurking only a matter of inches away from them, speaks volumes.
The sheer amount of shite on the walls could only have been produced by a minimum of at least seven or eight people and I can only guess that it had been placed there via some kind of suction hose used by the cleaners, some kind of portable version of the one on the truck driven by Tom in Father Ted which once drenched Ted and Dougal. Whoever committed the act had probably just been sacked. After remaining rooted to the spot for about five or six seconds due to being completely startled by the sight in front of me, I ran back up the stairs and out the front door, still with a full bladder and with a new urge to get home for a shower as quickly as possible, despite being lucky enough not to touch any of the offending material.
I didn’t venture into that McDonald’s for at least eighteen months afterwards, and thankfully those toilets had been shut down by then.[/quote]
Guess what film I watched straight after posting that last night? Hunger.
Christmas day was a day that I had 4 dumps, its been a loooooong time since I had one of those days. Only the one today, about an hour ago. Will sleep well tonight!
When urinating into a toilet bowl down you aim straight into the water making as much noise as possible or do you aim for the ceramic sides of the bowl to lessen the impact?
Depends if the lock on the door is functional or not.
I always piss towards the side of the bowl, not a big fan of the sound of water splashing against water for some reason.
Sid the jacks in McD’s Kylemore Road were destroyed like that at least once a week when I worked there back in 2002. I doubt any staff memeber would do something like that over being sacked as you can be fucking sure it won’t be a manager cleaning it up!! The culprits responsible for the mess in Kylemore were always local travellers from the nearby halting site.
If the visit is audible from outside the bathroom then I’ll try to aim for the ceramic sides. You run the risk of hitting the seat or missing the toilet completely by using this strategy Otherwise i’ll let rip and try and create as much noise as possible.
Do your own thing.
Wall Urinals with a step in front of it.
Do you stand up on the step and piss or do you stand behind the step and piss?
It would depend on your height and the size of your feet.
Certain TFK patrons would need to stand back from the step while others would need to put a box on the step.
I stand on the step, then turn around, yank down the kaks and take a nice dump in the urinal.
Those urinals are wrong.
Each man should have his own space so as to avoid splashback from “toilet cakes”.
tom.
Got new toilet roll holders in work, and I must say they are welcomed.
Before we had one of those holders with small individual bits of paper that could be a cunt to get out of the holder. Also you had to take a few of them in order to get the layers.
Now it is just one roll, wheel off as much as you want, tear it off and bobs your uncle.
I can see morale increasing due to this simple change.