further to Kevs original point, im 100% not giving a present but as this wedding is in a county I dont want to go to, would it be rude of me to ask the groom(lets call him “bancing daby”) to subsidize my hotel?
It is someone’s choice to get married. What’s more it is someone’s choice what kind of celebration they are having. A lot of people go for big fancy weddings with numerous pieces of bridesmaid/groomsman gear and the fancy castle. A pile of people are invited obviously with the aim or firstly showing off, secondly revelling in being the centre of attention and most importantly that the guest will see the fancy location and adjust their ‘present (it is actually a fee)’ accordingly. So in effect, the guests are paying for them to look smart.
So it begs the question, if I decide to get married and invite people is it completely taking the spirit out of it by expecting the guests to come with a hefty present? The answer is yes in my view. If it were me, I would be happy with 30 or 40 people. No place for Mary, the widow of my Dad’s first cousin, or Joe who invited my Mam and Dad to his wedding 20 years ago. I would take the view that they are not sufficiently close to me for me to want them to be at my wedding. Christ I would have spoke to them 10 times in total in my life.
I would not expect the people I invite to bring a present. Now here is where itb gets tricky. If some close mate decided that he would like to give us a gift I would accept it. It would be rude not to. But I wouldn’t get at someone who didn’t give anything. Who gives a shite about receiiving a pile of plates from some old one that looks rank?
I saw a couple after a wedding maintaining a list of those who had brought presents or not. Fucking shocking carry on.[/QUOTE]
great post… the last bit happens a lot more than you think…I would go as far to say it would be the norm to make a note of who gave what…so many weddings are just about showing off and trying to create the perfect image of how in love and perfect the couple are … a few wedding I’ve been to I would have no doubt the bride had a big input into the groom’s speech eventhough a she’ll pretend to be ‘dreading’ what he’s going to say…:rolleyes:
What’s the view on stags? Go somewhere everybody can afford or go all out to Vegas for a week and whoever wants to go will find a way to get there.
I just wouldn’t bother going pal …if he really is a true friend he would know your friendship doesn’t come down to one day … stay at home and spend the day with your beautiful kids pal…
ive a stag coming up pretty soon, Its in a dump, most of the people going are cunts & there are 4 or 5 different groups so it will be a fragmented affair. Is it fair for me to ask the grrom to subsizie my drink?
One of my best mates went on holiday to Argentina with his long term girlfriend and they came back married. Rang their parents after the ceremony and told them. They had some friends and family over a BBQ when they got back which was a great night. They just didn’t want the fuss and decided to head off and tell nobody until after it’s done. Both mothers were a bit pissed off but they had their own wedding 30 years ago so they will get over it eventually. That’s the way to fucking do it.
stag hell
they will probably find in 15 years they are not actually legally married under Irish law so a win win all round
I’ve just heard 2 lads in Fresh in Grand Canal Dock discussing this thread. Neither are Bandage. Identify yourselves you cunts.
one of them was me & the other was gola
depends if you are a closeknit bunch or if you are just a load of lads who done serious amount of class A’s together back in the day…a pub down the country for the former and Vegas for the latter…
[QUOTE=“TheUlteriorMotive, post: 965342, member: 2272”]true but if your parents are alive and were invited to Joe and Mary’s daughters wedding recently then you end up making your parents (rightly or wrongly) in their own eyes look bad if Joe and Mary are not invited. You can do what you want but a part of an Irish wedding is about the parents too and who they feel need to be invited.
Agree re the fee thing- almost all presents now are cash and most couples factor it in to paying for the wedding/honeymoon that they will get minimum 200 per couple attending[/QUOTE]
Of course you must think of your parents, even if they are not paying for it.
No problem with them inviting very close friends but it is this mass ‘inviting them for no other reason than feeling obliged’ bullshit would have to be cut out. If they get grief, then the people giving them grief aren’t worth bothering with.
I’m the lad who spat on the back of your head.
Were they wearing wet suits?
One night somewhere easy to get to is enough. If it is to be somewhere foreign I’d only ask very close friends.
I’ve provided @Bandage with some advice over lunch. Unfortunately the rest of you won’t benefit from it as I’m not typing it out.
[QUOTE=“farmerinthecity, post: 965366, member: 24”]Of course you must think of your parents, even if they are not paying for it.
No problem with them inviting very close friends but it is this mass ‘inviting them for no other reason than feeling obliged’ bullshit would have to be cut out. If they get grief, then the people giving them grief aren’t worth bothering with.[/QUOTE]
of course you would let them invite close friends either way but its floodgates for the people who they feel they are obliged to invite if you take their money…
Have two if the interest is there. My mate had us in Krakow for the first XI and then the lad getting married had a session in the local with the lads who wouldn’t have been willing to pay for a weekend in Poland. Worked out well.
As regards “where everyone can afford”, though, going to Poland was as cheap as going to Portarlington.
No, standard slacks and shirts. Messy looking accountant types.
You should have introduced yourself as another poster and then pissed your pants, thereby ruining that poster’s online persona forever with no obvious negative impact to you.