Well Fuck it anyway. The Locke dropped a clanger thread

Bought a lotto ticket. Didnā€™t win. :man_shrugging:t5:

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An update on the above: Keys found in the boot of his car.

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Hes still driving?

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After you engaging a locksmith or sawed down the garage door. I brought home the wrong jacket from the pub once and didnā€™t twig it for a fortnight or so. There was a small bunch of keys in the pocketā€¦ā€¦

It transpired that a lad got the house door lock changed but had a spare key for the car.
I was persona non grata for a spell but availing of a pint and a chaser whenever weā€™d meet mellowed him readily enough.

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My brother managed a supermarket while he was still single and living at home. One Monday morning at 5 am going to work the ruck started when he couldnā€™t find the shop keys. Delivery trucks outside the store when he arrived (pre mobile phone saturation) and panic on to get opened up. He had to travel to another employee to get his set. Mother at home turning his room upside down and praying to St. Anthony.
Decision made to change shop locks for security reasons.
1 week later my daughter whom my mother babysat while we were at work hears a recurrence of the woeful story of the missing keys and walks to a cupboard under the TV in the sitting room and produced the keys. She had been playing Shop like her uncle and put them away safeā€¦

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I once spent a good five minutes looking for my car and house keys. I eventually realised they were in my mouth.

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:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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The absolute luckiest escape I had was about 3 months back. Was in Maccys on princess parkway for breakfast. Got back out to the bike. No keys. Checked pockets, no, checked bag, no, inside helmet and gloves, no, went back into petrol station, no, back into Maccys, no. Then had a thought could I possibly have left them on the tray. Went through the (full) rubbish bin, and there they were. Just about to be emptied too :flushed:

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Yes. A major bone of contention, but heā€™s digging in.

When I was a young lad I locked the grandparents back door and hid the key. They didnā€™t find it until 2 weeks later when they finished the box of cornflakes.

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:grinning: :grinning:

Should you be let out on your own at all? :face_with_raised_eyebrow: :sweat_smile:

:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:

The worse thing is as I rooted through my bag/pockets/ everything, I was sure I could hear them jingling.

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We call that a John Muddlecombe

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Itā€™s serious business loosing a car/bike key.
Theyā€™re expensive yokes to replace.

The young lad lost his Audi car keys a few years ago. Iā€™m just quoting Audi as I think they were up to ā‚¬400-500 to replace. He had come up home from training so we assumed they must have been in the house somewhere, but couldnā€™t find them.

A few months later I came across them in a box of TV fittings in the garage. The garage door wouldnā€™t usually be open, but it must have been that day. He must have left the keys on top of the box when he was taking off his boots.

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Going around looking for your phone while holding it in your hand is along similar lines & Iā€™ve been known to do that occasionally.

Not wanting to feel left out, I had a well fuck it anyway moment there a while ago. Emerging from the cafe with my lunch & coffee & trying to get my earphones out of my pocket to listen to music on the stroll homeā€¦of course I dropped one of the earphones & it took a turn off the surface the dearly departed Shane Warne would have been proud of. It rolled under a car parked outside and, after a sheepish crouch down, I couldnā€™t see it & surmised it had helpfully settled right in the middle part. So I asked a couple at one of the outside tables if I could leave my stuff on it for a moment. Then I had to lie down on my belly on the ground & edge across under the car, like a RUC officer before driving to work in 1983. I couldnā€™t get it from the first side & had to get up & repeat the effort on the other side & flick it out. I got a little clap from my new pals at the table as I stood up & I could feel my face getting red, as I thanked them & gathered my stuff. Now the front of my jumper is a bit mucky too. :rage:

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Ah lovely. Matty had that with a coffee lid yesterday. Blew off the table in alderley edge and into the kerb. He got up to get it, a passerby tried to stand on it but a gust meant it avoided both and sailed across to the far side of alderley main Street. Normally youā€™d have left it as it was wild gusty , but he was already moving. Across the road he went. Another gust, then another. Twas like a lad up the top of the hill had it on a bit of string.
A big cheer from all watching when he finally got it about outside Nero about 50 yards up.
To add to the mornings entertainment,Matty, who has a range rover CR6 or wherever the souped up version is called said he was selling it as itā€™s 5 years old. ā€œI canā€™t really be driving round in it anyway as Iā€™m going to have to make a few people redundant because work is quietening offā€
ā€œWhat are you getting insteadā€
ā€œA golfā€
ā€œA golf?ā€
Pause
ā€œYeah, but Iā€™m on the waiting list for a new Range Roverā€
The model of corporate responsibility.

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They make earphones that attach to your phone, FYI. Game changer.

I just wrote ā€œJaysus, why do people make things so complicatedā€ into the group chat of the meeting I was complaining about. The owner said ā€œif you have suggestionsā€¦ā€¦ā€ Deleted the message, said it was for and about something completely different, closed down Teams, Outlook, everything and assume Iā€™ll be out of a job by tomorrow.

Fuck it anyway!

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