Quality stuff but surely the first lad was taking the piss.
A legend of a man.
LAST WEEK we were telling you about the rather marvellous “Ask Andrey” section of Andrey Arshavin’s official website (arshavin.eu), the Arsenal man largely yawning his way through his replies to fans’ questions.
Well, in his latest batch of answers Andrey is a lot perkier, happily taking on the role of Agony Uncle.
“Hi, I am 25 years old and I’m still not married,” said Rina. “My parents are very upset about this. They say I can end up a spinster. But I don’t want to get married yet. What shall I do?”
“I think I can help you,” said Arsenal’s own Dr Phil. “Step 1: You need to find a scruffy heavy drinker. Step 2: Once you’ve found him, try to persuade him to ‘marry’ you. I think that for a small amount of money, he will agree to fulfil the role of your fiance. Finally: Bring this guy home. Tell your parents he’ll live with you. I think next time they will think better before forcing their opinion on you.”
For that response alone Andrey should be crowned World Footballer of the Year, although he is a little less confident when asked for advice on the use of cosmetics.
“Do you approve when a girl starts using make-up very early in her life,” asked Liza.
“This is a purely personal matter for each girl,” said Andrey, “although I think it is better to consult a professional regarding this question.”
He also found the time to offer words of comfort to fans going through difficult periods (“Despondency is a sin”) and to dispute whether rain is, in fact, the result of crying angels. (“No, I do not think that it’s angels’ tears. It’s simply a natural phenomenon. Although it sounds more romantic the way you put it.”
And how does he see himself in 50 years?
“A 78-year old man with aching legs and a glamorous walking stick.” God-like.
3 birds wildly celebrating Torres’ second goal at Anfield. So terribly unattractive.
that was probably the liverpool subs bench you were looking at.
hmm…
This never got the credit it deserved at the time. 
Andy Gray would be proud of the sentiments.
I never had a chance to thank you for that mate, cheers bro. Looking forward to clinking glasses with you in The 51 in December.
@Limerick chaps, did you go to the game with your birds today? Did you have an emotional embrace with them when the final whistle was blown? Did your birds remark on the savage workrate of the boys from 1 to 15? The hooking and the hassling?
The Runt was my date yesterday. We had a very emotional embrace at full time if that helps. I also hugged several strangers
Did ya drop the hand julio
No
Ah well…
did the runt drop the hand? 
No, the runt is so small he would have to raise the hand ha ha ha ha ha
The Belgian national team created the biggest womans only section at a match by putting 1100 female fans put in their own section
Sure beats the Aviva Singing Section
[QUOTE=“Dirty Hands Walter, post: 446978, member: 9”]Any thoughts?
I think Tinnion has strong feelings on this topic. He can’t bear to see women at games where tickets are at a premium.
Personally, I don’t think women belong at sporting events unless they’re performing cheer leading duties. You tend to get 3 female types that go to games:
-
fat dyke who’s more or less a man anyway.
-
silly bitch who thinks it’s fashionable because she played tag rugby once.
-
decent yoke who goes to be seen and enjoys the attention.
There’s a variation on 3) where some sad cunt actually invites his bird along. That’s unforgivable.[/QUOTE]
@Dirty Hands Walter which category does your bird fit into?
What’s the matter Walter, cat got your tongue?