He took a reasonable idea and tortured it. The full Guantanamo.
Those two sentences are far better, and far more darkly witty, than anything Will Self has ever written.
An accident I’m sure. Rudeness to people trying to help/serve you is the most appalling quality.
Sure is. Anyone being hired for an important job should ideally be brought out for a meal to audit any such tendencies.
I remember saying to Tom Paulin about Mark Lawson, the evening I was introduced to the latter, he would be a dangerous fucker if he got any power. An awful lot of people deeply resent, when they get some measure of power, not being a star and not being swooned over when they were young. They see the obnoxiousness as a retrospective tariff on prior indifference to their being.
Item:
Some fella after ramming the gates outside Downing Street.
I wonder was it Boris?
Number 10 has been placed in lockdown after a car attempted to drive into Downing Street.
The driver was arrested after what appeared to be an unauthorised attempt to enter.
Staff in Downing Street were told they could not leave as police officers attempted to secure the scene.
Rishi Sunak, the Prime Minister, is understood to have been inside the Downing Street complex when the incident took place.
A Number 10 source said the driver of the car was a man. Details are still emerging about what exactly took place.
A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: "At around 16:20hrs a car collided with the gates of Downing Street on Whitehall.
"Armed officers arrested a man at the scene on suspicion of criminal damage and dangerous driving.
"There are no reports of any injuries.
Delighted for the Tory cunt.
A queue jumper - the lowest of the low.
Plenty to run on this story yet. Can see Operation Yewtree being resurrected.
That was his biggest crime
A queue jumper
Ahem
Philip Schoolfield
Twitter had this story as soon as the controversy broke. Been texting him since he was 15. Got him a job on the program after that. All very very icky.
If it was a girl and he wasn’t gay he’d be in some real bother
That is a fact. He’d be facing jail time
There’s a lot more to come, bad shit
If anyone ever wants to understand PR this is a an absolute text book example.
Holly and Philip synonymous as a pair. Fuck bad news coming about Philip. Could sink her and the show. Next thing stories leak in the paper.
Holly doesn’t like Philip never has basically.
Philip is a dickhead to the crew. Rift between Holly and Philip. They are no longer a pair.
Story breaks.
Holly vindicated and now she’s in the clear.
Twas fucking beautifully orchestrated.
I’d die above on her